Have I Internalized Misogyny?
I have been told that I have ‘internalized misogyny’ simply because I speak up about male victims being including in the human rights conversation. No. That is a downright lie I will not take on. What I believe is happening is those projecting this see only one gender as a victim so that view is being projected onto me as if I only see one gender as a victim. Absolutely not. Nothing could be further from the truth and I am really sick of this being projected onto me. I am creating a conversation of inclusion, how that is being warped into a conversation of exclusion is a gaslighting I’m not taking on.
I have NEVER denied there are male criminals and female victims, nor would I ever. If I were to say ‘No female victim/male perpetrator dynamics exist’ or ‘My voice as a female victim doesn’t really matter we need to hear men first’ that’s when YES it could be said I have succombed to the misogyny gods and have internalized sexism. But I have never and would NEVER say that. I don’t believe in ‘first’ when it comes to victims of violence being supported, I believe in- together. ALL victims matter and no victim should be kept from funding for supporting their healing or escape to safety. There is some bizarre scarcity mentality and hoarding sneaky lie that is underlying conversations denying male victims as if we don’t have enough resources to help men, yes we do. All we need is the awarenes and empathy to take the actions necessary so that men are not denied support simply for being born male.
I am speaking a conversation inclusive of male victims while shining a light on the blindspot on men in our society. That is opening the conversation to speaking on all victims and to recognize all victims need support. Otherwise, we are attacking innocent people simply for being born male or simply for being born female. I don’t believe in ‘man bad/woman good’ just as I don’t believe in ‘woman bad/man good’. I believe every human has the capacity for violence and the capacity for greatness. Violence is NOT gendered, violence is a human issue and the focus needs to be on supporting victims and criminals being brought to face the law. I believe regardless of political identity we can all come together to support human rights issues.
Once again, I know I stand uniquely in my conversation of inclusion in a society that is predominantly in denial of the importance of including and supporting male victims. To me everyone is welcome to this conversation regardless of political identity. I am also aware all humans, myself included, hear through a filter. I get people are unconscious, me too. I am making a very clear statement here that yes I am spearheading my own voice here and I get it does not fit the ordinary and I stand by my voice and my heart. I know my intentions and I will not be afraid nor silent anymore.
Photo by Max Nepstad for my feature by Gran Centenario Tequila speaking on my book ‘100 Days of Loving Men: A Woman’s Journey Into Recovery’.
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