Do people really want peace?

Do I believe people want peace? No. Not beyond the superficial self aggrandizing ego patting conversations. Because peace takes self responsibility & self responsibility means being honest with self, & everyone wants to see themselves as the hero not the villain.

If I deny my shadow I deny myself my own love, I deny myself my own recognition of self as powerful creator. How could there possibly be peace if I deny my impact? I would much rather continue to challenge myself to embrace self responsibility. That is my peace.

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The Bravado of Avoiding Self Responsibility In Our Conversations Of Men

In today’s video on my YouTube Show Celebrating The Love of Being, titled ‘The Unconsciousness of “I love men, as long as they…”‘ [See video below ] I briefly touch on the bravado of self avoidance. Avoiding self responsibility is not ’empowerment’ but rather the bravado of not being responsible. This is a conversation that is present across the gender line and in this conversation I will speak about the unconscious bravado aimed at men.

Unfortunately, I am seeing under the guise of ‘female empowerment’ the bravado of avoiding self responsibility in relating with and having conversations about men and self. It is not ‘female empowerment’ to not be responsible for my listening of men and respecting a man’s ‘No’. For I must be responsible for listening to my own needs. And if I recognize my needs are important, how could I shame men for sharing their needs are important?

It is not ‘female empowerment’ to use defensive bravado as a way to hide from the fact that I am not listening to a man’s voice and am in fact shaming men for speaking up about their needs. This experience is not only under the precise conversation of ‘female empowerment’ it is also in any avenue where bravado can be confused as a woman using her voice ‘powerfully’ when in fact shaming of men is happening.

The bravado that is the basis of shaming men and the conversations of denigration aimed at men is in fact self avoidance. It can be uncomfortable to listen and look when a man says, ‘No’ to how they are being approached, being represented, objectified, demanded of and manipulated. I recognize that often this can be unconscious these actions aimed at men and yet, it is up to me to look and listen when a man points them out to me. I understand that facing my unconsciousness with men and with anyone is very uncomfortable.

However, in a society that is very quick to dismiss the unconsciousness and denigrating conversations and actions aimed towards men while also confusing and conflating this abuse of men as ‘female empowerment’ or ‘a strong woman’ I must absolutely be vigilant lest I allow myself to excuse my unconsciousness towards men. In a society where my self avoidance bravado of shutting down my listening down towards men is celebrated by a sleeping society, it is my responsibility to keep checking my own awareness of this. In this society it is easy to get swept away in the drunken acceptance of praise for being reckless and harmful towards men, I did before in my own unconsciousness. And this is why it takes hard work to look and question this self avoidance bravado cloaked as ‘female empowerment’ or it’s ‘a strong woman’ who speaks abusively towards men or shuts down a man’s voice. That is not ’empowerment’ that is inferiority parading about pretending ‘superiority’. I am very clear I am inferior to no one and that is why I choose to not to pretend I am superior either. There are actual powerful, vital and even beautiful conversations being had that support women in society and this bravado is not a part of this. Anything that is actually based on being hurtful and dismissive towards men is a masquerade of the real conversations that are important for women. Shaming men is not ‘female empowerment’. I choose to not entertain that myth.

To me there is nothing ‘strong’ about shutting down the voice of another. Such a desire to me is Fear baffled by the confrontation of the call to self responsibility. What is missed, is self responsibility is another way to recognize myself as a powerful being. Not powerful in the sense of domination as that is not power, powerful in a sense of recognizing the beauty of my being and in this recognizing the beauty of the being before me and that we are both important, not just me.

The military is the reason we are free to live how we live. The military is filled with men and women making the ultimate sacrifice to keep our countries safe. To keep the war from our doors. To have to be in war face to face and then come home and try to have a normal life then be treated with disdain or met with hate from those you served to protect must be incredibly painful. The reality is we don’t live in a society where every human being has mastered full self-responsibility or even partial self-responsibility. This isn’t a question of conspiracy it is all very simple to me, it all comes down to self-responsibility.It’s so easy for me to find the devil outside and make the world so wrong, and I belong here.
 
When I am disconnected from ‘I belong’ that’s when I cannot see my part in who I am being in the world and what I am supporting. And If I cannot see myself as belonging, well then there is no way I am going to be responsible for everything that’s happening ‘out there’ because that’s not mine, I don’t belong to that. Except I do. I belong to everything that’s on this planet. The war, the hate, the love, the beauty, the sacrifice and the indulgence. To spit at our protectors is a luxury they paid for with their lives. It’s not something I choose to do as I have respect for those who have given all so that I can walk the streets safely and in freedom. So that I can exercise my human rights so that I can have the luxury of taking my freedoms for granted until I remind myself who keeps those freedoms in place. I stand by our military wholeheartedly and am humbled by their sacrifice.
 
The only way war one day will no longer be necessary is in elevated levels of self-responsibility.
 
The military, the police, they only exist to bring integrity to the lack of self-responsibility. I can make a difference in the conversation of war and that starts with my own self-responsibility. As I challenge myself to be responsible with my own perceptions and my own choices and my own conversations that is how I make my footprint in the conversation that is war. Because ultimately war is a conversation, a conversation with my self.
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For me the fear of not belonging has fueled much discontent. And much of me viewing myself as separate from other. However, if I stand in self responsibility I can see I do belong. I am not separate. I am all I see around me. Yes I am unique, each being is unique. And unique does not equate to separate. 
Self acknowledgement does not separate, it expands and unites. For me self acknowledgement and self responsibility dissipate old fears with tender knowing I am connected. It is me I am exploring, the ancient me in many forms. I belong not because of an action, I belong simply by being.

The play is over.

In looking I’ve realized I have spent much of my life subconsciously looking at history like a play wondering where do I fit, what part is mine to take on? The thing is, the play is over. It’s over. I don’t have to follow a role. I can do whatever I want. It’s a worthwhile play to learn from, not a play for me to keep leapfrogging throughout my life in the name of preservation. Not to perpetuate it blindly based on the fear of perpetuating it blindly. 
Every part of history is mine. I belong to every single part of it as it is ultimately about humanity, this planet and its inhabitants. I am not separate from any of it. I am both innocent and guilty. Not from shame from awareness, self love and self acceptance. It is all mine. I belong. With that lesson in mind I am free. The play is over. Who I choose to be now is solely my responsibility.