My latest video sharing on my book in progress- ‘100 Days of Loving Men’:
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For me the fear of not belonging has fueled much discontent. And much of me viewing myself as separate from other. However, if I stand in self responsibility I can see I do belong. I am not separate. I am all I see around me. Yes I am unique, each being is unique. And unique does not equate to separate.
Self acknowledgement does not separate, it expands and unites. For me self acknowledgement and self responsibility dissipate old fears with tender knowing I am connected. It is me I am exploring, the ancient me in many forms. I belong not because of an action, I belong simply by being.
In looking I’ve realized I have spent much of my life subconsciously looking at history like a play wondering where do I fit, what part is mine to take on? The thing is, the play is over. It’s over. I don’t have to follow a role. I can do whatever I want. It’s a worthwhile play to learn from, not a play for me to keep leapfrogging throughout my life in the name of preservation. Not to perpetuate it blindly based on the fear of perpetuating it blindly.
Every part of history is mine. I belong to every single part of it as it is ultimately about humanity, this planet and its inhabitants. I am not separate from any of it. I am both innocent and guilty. Not from shame from awareness, self love and self acceptance. It is all mine. I belong. With that lesson in mind I am free. The play is over. Who I choose to be now is solely my responsibility.
I’m human I will hate. Hate is not the issue, it is the relationship with hate. No, I do not vow to not hate. And I don’t know a single human on this planet who does not know hate. My only vow is to be true to myself and to love myself in all of my fallible humanity which includes loving myself when hate comes present.
It’s not hate that is the issue it is the denial of it which pushes it underground to fester rather than receive it as prima materia asking to be seen and accepted and loved. That is how I transmute the experience of hate into self love. I don’t avoid my human experience. I embrace it then choose self responsibility and self kindness. This is how hate transmutes to love for me.