To My Fellow Black Men & Women: Stop Listening To A Racists View On You.

I noticed in my life I spent a lot of time validating what the racists view on me. I’ve realized: those views are completely insignificant. I believe as the Black community we have spent our lives being told those viewpoints are valid or real above our own true viewpoints of the beauty of who we are.
 
That is incorrect.
 
Here’s what I have found, superiority cannot exist without inferiority at the root. Have you noticed how someone acts when they feel inferior to you? Put downs to bring you down, comparisons to make you feel like you do not hold up, gaslighting every time you succeed or contribute that in fact you did not succeed or contribute. Those racist points of view are NOT who we are. We cannot look to those who feel inferior to give us an accurate view of who we are, nor to those who feel we are superior because both are based on inferiority. Never can we look to anyone, regardless, for an accurate view of who we are.
 
What are the common conversations of us in a society led by racism and with deep roots of racism toward the black community? All of them come back to the view of us as ‘uncivilized’ because our roots are from Africa. Almost as if slavery was an entitlement because we were just ‘uncivilized’ anyway. The myth that we are violent because of our pigmentation, again back to the conversation of us being ‘uncivilized’ because of our skin tone. A lot of this is religiously based with the story of a white God and white Angels and white Jesus and a black devil and all things dark meaning we are evil or bad because we too are dark. The same language is not being used today, yet the connotations are all there. All of this based on the ignorance in misconstruing the metaphor of the shadow.
 
What is uncivilized about our roots in Africa? What is uncivilized about Africa? We all came from Africa. Every single one of us. Our Asian brothers and sisters, Native American, White, Indian, Aboriginal, and of course our Black brothers and sisters. We all come from the same bosom. What is uncivilized about that?
 
History has been brutal throughout and no one exempt from that brutality yet racists would want you to believe -while justifying and ignoring the brutality of slavery and even justifying and ignoring the brutal reality of the Holocaust – they are the one ‘pure’ race. Ha! How freaking ridiculous and delusional is that?? If someone came up to you in a tin foil hat and said ‘I am the one true race’ would you not just laugh in their face at their freaking ridiculousness?? Or even feel pity for them because that is not a healthy normal story and may even be rooted in some type of mental health issue?
 
YET we validate these completely off the rocker ideas being aimed at us! Why? Because we have bought into the viewpoint of us from the eyes of the racist! How can we view ourselves through that viewpoint? We cannot. We will not be able to see the beauty we are in this world and in society daily. I lived that for so long comparing myself to the way racists viewed me and it was excruciatingly painful. I wanted to just give up. I felt defeated. I felt ugly. I felt gross. I felt inferior.
 
There was no way I could see myself succeeding with allowing those racist views to ride on my back. No way I could reach for joy in who I was with allowing myself to be painted with hatred as if it were a true mirror of who I was. No way I could let my voice squeeze from my throat while I let myself wrap that hate to choke myself silent. I watched as statistics were used as weapons to continue to tell me what a brutal uncivilized dark witch I was. Yet watched as the same racists fed me dollars to take my clothes off for them. Watched as my sisters were brutalized in ‘amateur’ porn and hyper-sexualized as the ‘horny black woman’. Watched as these racists called me a nigger in one breath then told me how ‘sexy’ I was in the next.
 
You tell me: Why would I continue to live from the view of people who hate me? Also, their hatred of me has NOTHING to do with me, nor you my fellow Black brothers and sisters. Absolutely nothing! Though we have been told that it does, we keep being fed that it does, that the racism aimed at us is justified. We keep being told to eat that sickness as if it is meant for us as if we deserve it as if we must to be ‘allowed’ to be among the racist. As if it is a privilege to be among racists and this is the price we must pay.
 
I say NO MORE!
 
The racists’ hatred projected onto us has NOTHING to do with us! Hatred is born within. It is something we all feel at one point or another. Yet it is a feeling to be transmuted and release or it becomes poison. The racist is irresponsible with their hatred, just like any violent person is. Someone’s hate of me, no matter how sure they believe it is about me, has nothing to do with me and has nothing to do with you. We have been taught to believe racism is about us and I am here to tell you IT IS NOT! Racism is deep self-hatred projected outward and has nothing to do with whomever it is aimed at.
 
I have stopped validating the racists view on me. I dismiss it, I roll my eyes at it, I laugh at it, I pity it. It is NOT real. And I am done playing with that fantasy.
 
What is real is my feet on the grass, my toes in the lake, my smile returning the sun’s smile, my laughter with my fellow brothers and sisters across the skin rainbow spectrum.
 
The racists game wants us to play to see if we can ‘win’ the racists game which is not possible. I say screw the game rise above! Let’s support each other. Let’s let go of the stories placed in our community to divide us! Stepping out of the racist’s domain and illusion and standing here in the reality of the community we BELONG to. We don’t have to prove anything! We BELONG here! This is our home. Wherever we originated, Africa, Carribean and so forth, we are here and we BELONG! The racist will have you believe in the story of their belonging yet we know the only ones who originated on this land is the Native Americans. We all come from across the map- see how delusional racist ‘thinking’ is?
 
The greatest revolution in the Black community MUST be self-love! We need to no longer buy that self-love is not your kingdom. It is! Reign in self-love! Know you are worthy simply in being Let our art be seen! Our creations be expressed! Our cooking be experienced! Our culture be experienced! Our being, simply in being, let us be with. Simply in being, we are worthy, we are love, we are the Black community and not only do we belong here, we have the possibility to shape what happens next.
 
I love myself, I know myself as worthy simply in being. I love my dark skin, my dark eyes, my dark hair. And I do not have to hate the hater. I have the power in me to transmute this historical pain, to recognize the racist as living in a dark fantasy that has nothing to do with me. I do not need to rage at the hater for it would just be a violence to me as it is born in my body. Drinking poison and hoping the racist gets sick. Well, I have drunk enough poison for the racist. My life does not belong to the racist anymore. In the instant of that recognition, I am free.
 
I will no longer bow to the illusions of cruelty, I will only humble myself to the greatness of my heart.
 
I implore you, my beautiful Black brothers and sisters, stop validating the delusional view of who you are from the racist’s eyes. Stop playing a game made for you to lose. Reign in the kingdom that is your birthright. Luxuriate in the love of your being. I see me, I see you. Descendents of Pharaohs and Queens, know your birthright is sovereignty.
 
I vow my tenderness to my being in the revolution that is love.
 
I stand here with my Black brothers and sisters, in knowing who I truly am is right here in me, in no one’s eyes but my own, in the love of my being. That is true sight.
 
I stand with my brothers and sisters of all ethnicity as we remember we all come from the same bosom and all belong here. Our natural state is community, the rest is the illusion to be challenged. We all belong. Never let anyone enroll you in a fantasy that says otherwise.
 
We Rise, We Rise Together.
Hate-begets-hate-violence-begets-violence-toughness-begets-a-greater-toughness.-We-must-meet-the-forces-of-hate...-Martin-Luther
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The Body.

To me what I often experience is this. Those who practice a modality, such as Tantra, often begin to work like a body. However, as a body it is always open to getting sick. And as a body each individual makes up the body’s immune system. Now, when the immune system is in integrity it can recognize between pathogens -what actually creates disease, in this instance abuse and abusers, spiritual bypassing, righteous denial and arrogance. which hides abuse- and its own body. When the immune system is out of integrity it cannot distinguish between a pathogen and it’s own body and begins to attack itself.
 
Those standing up to abuse in the Tantric community are very clearly a healthy and vital part of the Tantric body and yet are often met in ‘Tantric’ spaces like they are not. Being a stand for victims, for integrity is a great stand that is for supporting the health of the Tantric body in action which begins in being. When the body senses pathogens it sends out an army of fighter cells to attack in order to keep the body healthy. Those standing for health, safety, the voice of victims and integrity in the Tantric community are only attacking the pathogens NOT the body. Yet is often confused as the other way around.
 
This is my experience as to what is often transpiring in Tantra and in any part of the human community. We are a body. If I am out of integrity with myself, I contribute to the body not being able to distinguish between pathogen and self. It absolutely all comes back to self as in doing my own work.
 
My integrity is a vital part of a healthy body. This is core.
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Words mine, Anatomy art by Juan Gatti.

Happy Earth Day!: The Human Element

 In the beautiful consciousness of #EarthDay, remembering to love home, to me that starts with self. If I do not respect myself, how can I respect my planet? If I do not see myself as belonging, how can I take accountability for effects of my actions on this soil?
Sometimes environmentalism can get a bit dark in my experience by forgetting the human element. As if people are ‘bad’ or ‘wicked’ or ‘stupid’ for not taking care of the planet. What if they just don’t feel like they belong? What if they just do not have the wisdom or education or know how to know what it means to take care of earth? Or, the self love and self respect to know their actions matter?

To me self love it all comes back to. Those equipped can keep educating all of us on how to best live in harmony with our planet and also, remember, we are the planet too. If we are not in harmony with ourselves, if we cannot love self, no way are we going to be able to understand we matter enough that we impact our planet.

Being kind to the Earth means also being kind to self.

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To Hell With ‘Patriarchy’ Theory

To hell with ‘patriarchy’ theory. It was created by a white woman during the times of the Civil Rights Movement. How disconnected is that? This theory is based on her perception that men just want to dominate women. Well, that may have been her personal viewpoint, that does not make it a perspective to follow as truth.
 
The reality is ‘patriarchy’ theory has been and is being used to completely dominate men. We have used it to silence men from speaking up and disagreeing with being told they are innately criminals or their very makeup is ‘toxic’. We have used ‘patriarchy’ theory to silence male victims. We have used this theory to gaslight men when men say the theory is not true we have called men ‘misogynists’ for coming forward and sharing their pain.
 
LISTEN! Patriarchy theory so ingrained in blaming men for all the ills of the world, for their own victimization. This theory enables and normalizes violence towards men. Creates a sick justification of violence towards men because ‘well they invented patriarchy’. No. Some disconnected woman invented ‘patriarchy theory’ based on her panic driven view on society, men and herself. She wasn’t even connected to the female predator and female victims of female predators.
 
I am calling out ‘patriarchy’ theory as violence towards men. Men are told so much all is their fault, maleness is at fault, that men are left completely silenced when they are victimized especially by women. Men think they are the one’s who did something wrong when a woman raped them and they have no foundation in society to let them know, no, they are not at fault for their rape.
 
We must recognize that men too have suffered throughout time. We MUST listen to the voices of male victims. The lives of men matter, the pain and victimization of men is real.
 
Men your voices matter.
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I started to question: ‘What was insecurity really?…

I had started to question what was ‘insecurity’ really? Was ‘insecure’ a shadow aspect I was not embracing? A personal hidden make wrong on self?

I started to question my own definition and experience of ‘insecure’. This morning listening to a Pema Chodron audio book-who is incredible to listen to-she happened to share she heard someone define:
‘Insecurity is ego’s take on wide opened, unfettered space and we find that [wide opened, unfettered space] uncomfortable.’

Which to me, this definition brings in such a cool new aspect in the convo. I define this wide opened unfettered space as absolute pure possibility. Perhaps in that it is the very essence of life itself! Being with possibility to me is presence or rather, simply being. So, to me ‘insecurity’ is not what I thought. Insecurity is not a story about myself that I needed to debunk. So much bigger beyond the story of having to have a story to fix. But rather, recognizing my discomfort with wide opened, unfettered pace. Now I’m seeing ‘insecurity’ as resistance to impermanence, unfettered space, which to me is- My resistance to possibility. Now it seems ‘insecurity’ may also be any resistance to aliveness!!

So, being in-security is being in the distressing illusion of permanence which is resistance to unlimited possibility! Rather than when, what I had called ‘insecurity’ came up, I had interpreted that as there was some part of me lacking. God this feels refreshing!

For me permanence and security in the sense of having reliability in primary aspects of life such as a place to live, safety for me and mine, and things of this nature are absolutely necessary and vital. And, in my experience, this is not the opposite of ‘insecurity’.

So, let’s say I do address my original definition/story of ‘insecurity’ as me ‘lacking’, as I am so sure that story will come up again at some point lol I am realizing the basis of that experience of ‘insecurity’ is comparison. However, comparison is also not an issue. I now see that different does not mean ‘lacking’ in me, as I shared, I had defined insecurity as ‘lacking’ something. Which with this new experience of ‘insecurity’ I am finally getting that story of ‘lacking’ is just that- a story! Which my god if I bring that to my activism conversations and my judgments that creates a cool new possibility in how I see people!

And, to even not resist lacking lol, where I may be ‘lacking’ it is only to give fuel to my strengths. And should I decide there was something of ‘lack’ that required integrity then I will practice it as integrity while practicing self compassion rather than reprimand. Slowly, gently discovering the self tenderness of growth.

Returning to the conversation of ‘in-security’, resisting that powerful birth place of possibility-which is impermanence- is the very thing that rips me out of the present!

As a human, I have every habit established to not be present lol Rather than resist this and make myself wrong, because I will actually mostly not be present in life, I wonder, what would it look like to practice expanding just a tiny bit of presence? No push to ‘perfect’ -which to me was part of my previous understanding of ‘insecurity’- just an embracement and acknowledgement of what is, where I am now, in a playfulness with possibility.

Charnel Ground

I am on charnel ground. A place very few speak about, for it terrifies the anatomy to sight. An unrecognized sight in a society of normalized numbness. To connect with the body is wealth. The body poverty fed in disconnect I resist as I sit deep in this sacred ground, this undisguised purity calling me to be with mine.

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