The Confrontation Of Identity Death & Rebirth

I face the identity consistently. Within myself and when I am faced with it externally. The identity exists to die and be reborn. When the identity is not allowed to take it’s course, like the Phoenix to burst into flames and be reborn from the ashes, it starts to corrupt, decompose and stink.

With how I have been faced here and the deep judgment on what I share, I am aware that many here are confronted by their perception of me and my stand. I welcome judgment and disagreement by those who are brave enough to actually follow through the experience, through the alchemy to understanding. To me absolute agreement is not required for understanding. Nor support.

I have always been one that has not been a coward when it comes to identity death and rebirth. That does not mean I have not resisted it, I do at times. However, I regularly race into the flames and dare the alchemy to burn away what isn’t.

I have had 7 years of intensive training with a teacher that was about cutting through illusions to seeing the heart of self. Then about 3 years of incredible work with accountable coaches with a clarity, integrity and stand for cutting through stories that stand in the way of the reality of the innate power, heart, community and difference one is.

I do not share this to create some illusion that I have ‘arrived’ as there is no place to arrive and life is ‘self-work’ until the final day. And really not just ‘work’ yet that is an integral piece for me in allowing the beauty of relaxing deeper into being. I do not share this to place myself above nor below anyone. I share this to share.

I am a warrior rooted deeply in my heart.

My stand is only for community, unity, relinquishing of illusion and the allowance of the death and rebirth of identity. I come purely from love, my heart and seeing something greater than me and small shadow tribal mindedness. There is nothing wrong with tribalism until there is. I face the identity beginning with me as that is always the origin is self.

When I speak to people here I come from a place of seeing each individual as powerful and greatness because to me that is truth.

I’m one of the few who runs towards danger not away. I face death threats, hatred more vile than I could have even imagined, told I should be raped and left in a guttter, told I should be lynched, told I am all things evil and vile- and why?

Because damn right I am an absolute threat to the identity.

I face the identity that wants to keep hatred and division in place and call that ‘comfort’. The identity that wants to pretend our differences make us ‘enemies’. I don’t think so. That is a lie. Our differences each have wisdom with the potential of creation in ways only possible in community.

I face hate daily in my conversations and I do so as I sing to the Phoenix-

It’s OK to die, you will be reborn with a splendor.
I am here in my heart and I see you.

Even as the external identity lashes out, I stand. Not against as is often misconstrued, I stand. In the hellfire, unwavering, because I believe in greatness of people and I will absorb no story that tries to pretend otherwise. I stand in the blue flames of hate unwavering not because I hate, I stand because I see past the story, I see a heart and I believe in that heart, I believe in community. I stand in tenderness and I stand in ferocity, as love is all of it.

So, feel free to judge me however you need. I’m not going anywhere. That is not a threat. That is a stand. And I just shared what that stand is.



Day 1 of 100 Days of Loving and Celebrating Being

Day 1 of 100 Days of Loving and Celebrating Being

Phoenix Rising.

Facing and conquering old ways of being feels in my body of facing detox from addiction. I have experienced both. Each time an old habit comes up it feels like becoming a dragon, fire breathing one, as my identity fights tooth and nail to survive.

However, the very essence of identity is cycle as phoenix. Born then die and rise fresh from the ashes.The ashes are necessary and beyond their time they are just lifeless remnants. Holding onto what is long dead does not fulfill my aliveness. To do so, I will never know what it is to experience the fullness of myself.

My life is to evolve. To be a part of the inevitable evolution that is being human. That is my very existence. And in this to savor the pristine infallible experience of my being while I enjoy the adventure of the very fallible, dramatic and alive experience of being human.

I have to choose life. I am alive and yet I need to choose it. Every day I need to choose it. Or, I will become complacent. Bored with it. Disgruntled. Lacking the gratitude it takes to experience the adventure life is, the adventure I am. What an incredible gift it is to be on this plane of existence and alive. Wow.

My Dragon will return and I love it. Not from a place of it is the ultimate, from a space of I love every part of who I am. When it returns my Phoenix will be waiting with open arms to listen, to accept and in this conquer by loving it as it bursts into rebirth. They are symbiotic. The Dragon’s fire urges rebirth as the Phoenix’s birth soothes the dragon. And the Dragon knows, even depends on, love wins, every time. The Dragon’s very surrender is a part of this love.