THE EVOLUTION OF A DOMINATRIX

BDSM is not necessary. I will tell you why. What I am about to share is based on my personal experience and I am speaking solely for myself. I am not coming from a space of judgment on what others choose. I was a Professional and personal Dominatrix for a total of 13 years. I also was a submissive and Switch. A Switch is someone who is both Dom and sub.
This is what I have found for myself.
After over a decade of being in BDSM it no longer touched any passion in me. I became bored with BDSM. This is not a statement of arrogance, this is a statement of real experience. Not bored in the sense that some may think, that I desired – and in so required – something more intense. No. I recognized that what lit my passion came from the heart and presence. Love and presence. Not just in romantic engagement, in life itself.
With self work and expanding my self care through meditation, I found that what I had been seeking all along was myself. I realized when I sought BDSM I was seeking my own love, seeking to connect with my own body and seeking to surrender to a higher power or what others may call higher or authentic self.
It dawned on me that every single reason I had supported BDSM, actually had nothing to do with BDSM and could be accessed without ever even touching on BDSM.
I had supported BDSM because I thought since it seemed like I had re-awakened connection in my body, which I had disconnected from because of trauma, then BDSM must be beneficial. This was a misinterpretation. What I seemed to have awakened in my body was a hypersensitivity reacting to the pain. There are kind ways to reconnect with the body rather than misuse pain to force a hyper-connection from retraumatization. Trying to use pain to connect with the body is the shadow side of ‘body connect’ which is not the root of body connect it can actually create more disconnect through hypersensitivity. This is not to say that a person who is hypersensitive is disconnected from their body. Every person’s sensitivity is unique and there are biological reasons beyond trauma for sensitivity including the makeup of each individual’s central nervous system.
What I am saying is in my experience forcing hypersensitivity through the misconception that this forcing is ‘body connect’ can hinder and repulse authentic body connection because of the process of retraumatization. If you are being caned, you will connect with your body but it will not be a sustainable body connect, it will be your body reacting out of survival. The impact will be there, however, the full impact will be there and that includes teaching the body to stay alert rather than move into the deep body connect of relaxation. If this is still obscure think of it this way, I am speaking of the difference between punching someone in the face to leave an impact or giving them a hug. Which one do you think is most likely to create a loving basis of a relationship? It is less likely to create a trusting bond with someone right after punching them in the face. This is the same process of creating a loving basis in relating with self and body.
BDSM can also create a confusing relationship with pain itself. Pain is the body asking for attention. Physical pain alerts the mind that something is wrong and must be corrected. Emotional pain alerts the mind it is time to take care of self and listen to the pain that is present. I found that the use of BDSM can create a punishment relationship with pain. Pain is not a punishment, it is a call to awareness and self care. The feeling of pain does not exist to tell you that you are a bad person or to praise you, those are the stories our identities attach to pain to prolong its effect. Pain is simply a physiological response that is based on survival. To create a punishment relationship with pain can have the effect of learning to turn away from pain or beginning to numb out or not listen to pain. BDSM at times also uses pain as a reward or praise. Pain misused as a reward or praise does not create a supportive relationship with pain as being just a visitor that is serving its purpose to pass on. Pain is not an enemy, it is a sacred conversation of the body asking us to self care.
In Shibari, Japanese rope bondage, the rope touches on the meridian points. The misconception I held onto in supporting bondage is that bondage is a vital access to the meridian points. It is not. There are many ways to access the meridian points including acupuncture, acupressure such as reflexology and Qi gong to name a few. Qi gong which means ‘Life Energy Cultivation’, is the ancient Chinese practice of channeling Qi [Chi], life force energy. Qi gong is a practice of working with life energy and teaches ways to gently touch on the meridian points through one’s energy alone. Qi gong can be done in sacred space with self. Qi gong is a nurturing way of connecting with the body and bringing awareness to the body through presence. Body connection is important for physical, spiritual, emotional and mental health. Through body awareness we learn to be present with self and present in life. Tender loving body connection creates a friendship with the body and a friendship with self. This friendship expands to create a friendship with life and the gratitude of being alive.
Submission would be the surrender aspect of BDSM. Later in my years as a Dominatrix I realized people were not coming to submit to me, even though they insisted it was so. People were coming seeking to surrender to a higher power that was not me. That higher power seeking could be God, Source, Universe, Love, Higher Self. I was just an icon nor was I a conduit. I actually could have not been there at all. I disappeared. People were coming to surrender to themselves. A lot of rope and theatrics just to ultimately let go. Let go of the illusion of control. Take away the theatrics, surrender is simply done through meditation. Surrender can be done simply with a breath, simply with a stated intention to do so, simply through a smile. All people wanted to do was to not be in control. The reality is- we never are. You don’t need BDSM to tell you that. It’s just what is so. There are very few and minute things we can control to an extent and that all comes from self work. BDSM is a faulty bandaid at best as all the work a Dominatrix does cannot make up for the inner work that is needed to have sustainable experience of surrender and at times BDSM can actually create a wall towards true surrender.
People thought they were coming to BDSM seeking pain. No they were not. People were seeking the moments in between the pain, they were seeking the nurturing after the pain. People were seeking to be held with tenderness, to be held as precious even if for a moment and they believed they needed to suffer to be rewarded with nurturing. Well, no. You do not have to suffer to feel nurturing. You do not have to feel pain to feel release. You do not have to hurt to know kindness. What is wild is, all of the pain seeking in BDSM in my experience is actually avoidance of pain. Pain already exists to be looked at, BDSM can actually fetishize the pain so that it does not have to be dealt with. Through turning past trauma into a fantasy, it can stay a fantasy being relived parading itself in bravado. To me BDSM is a lot of bravado of not facing what needs to move on. An elaborately festooned party for trauma that is not being met. In the end, the pain must be faced in order to be free. Professional support such as therapy is crucial. Therapy is a powerful support which guides the unconsciousness into awareness. Self work is a vital aspect. Meditation and mindfulness are not just buzz words, they are life changing tools that when used from a space of humility, self kindness and authenticity can be transformational. Exploring the many ways of nurturing self care is an important commitment to health as well as self kindness.
Seeking nurturing through pain is a habit. It is often an enforced lifelong habit that when faced with tenderness can react incredulously. How could tenderness, nurturing without punishment be real? It is real. It is what is the most real in my experience. Now, of course, there is the pain of working out, the pain of not feeding an addiction. In these instances, as long as the workout is in regard to being in body awareness and not pushing to the point of harming the body, pain is showing us progress through healthy habits. The pain after a workout signals the body strengthening. The pain of the ego or inner child not getting 5 donuts can trigger things linked to such intense feelings such as abandonment feeling alone. However, this is the opportunity for self care. Therapy, for one, and self work done on one’s own as well. This is pain showing us again, where to self care.
It became clear to me that abandonment and feeling alone was the act of when I abandoned myself. Social interaction is important and is a very healthy necessity when feeling alone comes up. And, it can be easy to feel alone in a sea of people. That aloneness can only be sated by me. That feeling of abandonment, of self abandonment, was born each moment I chose inauthenticity. Each moment I chose to not self care, to not hold myself with precious love. This is not to shame myself or punish myself for not always holding myself as this, rather just a tender nudge of awareness in practicing not abandoning myself. It is inevitable I will abandon myself at times, as I am human and unconscious and yet, I can choose to face that impulse to self abandon and choose to practice not abandoning myself each time I am aware. Abandonment is defined as the action of completely surrendering oneself to a desire or an impulse. For me personally, speaking only for myself, I abandoned myself in BDSM. I do not speak that as a shaming of sexuality, lest it be misconstrued as such. I do not feel BDSM is sexuality though it finds itself presently entwined in the social conversation as such. To me, sexuality does not restrict. Nor am I shaming myself for having lived BDSM, nor am I shaming others for choosing BDSM. To each their own. I do not support my words here being misused for mob mentality of hating those who choose BDSM or shaming those who choose it.
My conversation here is to expand the conversation beyond BDSM not to create a conversation of restriction. What I am saying is BDSM is not a necessary step in the ladder. It is not even a part of the ladder. To me, BDSM is a side path that if not taken does not hinder and further more can be beneficial to not take such a path at all. Again, it all comes down to choice. I am sharing information that is not available to most through the eyes and experience of an ex Dominatrix who has known this world for over a decade. And it is a dark world filled with pain, do not kid yourself by pretending or fantasizing otherwise. BDSM is rooted in pain and even without the SM [sado masochism] aspect, there is often a lot of hiding and pain dealing. There are many who use the shrouding of BDSM to get away with hurting people. I was one of them. Albeit often unconsciously, believing I was doing a service. It is not a coincidence that when I began deep work to face and heal the abuser in me, that BDSM lost its interest in my body. I am not speaking for any other Dom but myself. This is what has been true for me.
For those who use exploration of the shadow as a reason for BDSM, this is a misunderstanding of the shadow. Seeking awareness and doing the hard work of self sight is awareness of the shadow. We can see our own shadow in how we address another, or how we address ourselves. In our inflexibility, in our lack of boundaries, even in that beautiful experience we will not allow for ourselves. Facing the shadow is a facing of self that can occur with just the will of seeking. The shadow does not require an ambassador, it is already present. Embracement of the shadow is not a praising of the shadow, it is embracing shadow as a shunned aspect of self that is crying out for compassion and understanding. It does not mean to act out from shadow, rather to understand and transmute to embrace what the shadow is truly calling out for- love. Ignoring the shadow actually creates living from the shadow. Praising the shadow does the same. The shadow is a little alarm or a blaring horn that is simply a call for the inner journey to remember what is held deep in its folds, the love of self. Ego creates shadow as power, the shadow is not about power, that is ego game. The shadow is pure asking me to please remember love. In this, to me the shadow is self love.
To those who have feared the shaming of being called ‘prude’ or the gaslighting of being told they were bullying by not engaging nor entertaining BDSM, you are missing nothing by choosing to not be a part of BDSM. No one should ever tell you that you must support BDSM or engage in BDSM to be ‘sexually liberated’. No. No one should ever tell you that you need to do anything to be ‘sexually liberated’. Whatever that terminology is supposed to mean or means for one individual is unique to that individual. A virgin can be sexually liberated just as much as a sexually active person as it all comes down to authentic choice. Terms are not what is most important to me.
What I have found after 13 years of exploring BDSM is that everything I experienced in BDSM I could have experienced in meditation and more without hiding from my pain through forcing physical pain. Through tender actions of self care, through choosing to not abandon myself, through being relentlessly compassionate toward myself even in the face of my identity that wants to say I am not worth that, I find the spaces that I was seeking in between the pain of BDSM. Those loud powerful spaces that I muted through BDSM that without the hindrance, pour forward into my body awareness and self love. Those loud powerful spaces that I gave credit to BDSM but were actually not a part of BDSM at all. Those loud powerful spaces are simply me. Me unencumbered. Being a Dominatrix was a puny mimicry of trying to force my innate power. When the reality is my innate power does not need forcing, it just is. My innate power is not a control of outer circumstances nor people, my innate power does not know control, it is too big for that paradigm. My innate power is simply a being.
I will say again, I do not support the words I am saying here being used to ostracize people for their choices. Rather this is an opportunity to understand why some people seek BDSM who may not be aware something so much bigger and more readily available is right in them right now. I do not suppose to know people’s reason for choosing, rather I am saying this may be one of the reasons. I create this conversation to stand in possibility, to stand as an awareness for those who may feel they must choose BDSM or must stay in BDSM. BDSM is not necessary. There is another way and you are it.
As I choose to do the hard work of self love and self care -sometimes when I face my addictions it’s a downright inner war- and also open to the gentle tenderness of self care and self love readily available simply in a conscious breath, I am choosing to not abandon myself. In choosing to not abandon myself, I am choosing integrity.
tumblr_static_tumblr_static__640
Painting by unknown.
Advertisements

Unhooking From The Violence Of Victim Narratives

Sometimes we can get so hooked on victim narratives that we enroll others in victim narratives. In comes the savior to destroy, even those who are benign. When we are in a blind ‘justified’ rage we cut even those who are aligned with us and even those who love us. Is it worth it? For what? The rush of feeling righteous anger? Righteous anger is important, yes, it has its place to challenge blindspots. Yet when it is activated from the space of the ‘savior’ archetype we have a duty to be mindful that this is happening. Or we will find our loved ones in the fallout. The ‘savior’ is a hiding mechanism, I would rather share awareness and open conversation with the intent of living in possibility.
When justified righteous rage is misused and abused for faulty purposes, or to support our hateful stories of each other, even stories we are ‘so sure are true’, what are we really seeking? What drives this shadow tribalism to protect even at the expense of our relationship with people? Tribalism to me is powerful in that it creates community, there are times when yes protection is necessary, it creates a functioning society and interdependence and more. Yet tribalism has a shadow side as well that fosters codependence, violent independence, destroys human connection, feeds paranoia and so forth. The shadow side of tribalism begs consciousness.
What drives this desire to ostracize as punishment and to dominate? When I ask myself this what comes up for me is pain. There is deep unmet pain there and often times fear of loss. In that sense, the rage can be an avoidance and in this, the rage can be an addiction, chasing a high to not face reality. Again, there are times where rage is vital and anger can be a beautifully powerful and important ‘No’ to injustice. I would never shun anger and rage as it is powerful and necessary in the stand for clarity, love and human connection. While I do not limit anger as the only way of communication, I honor it as one of the many important ways to create a clearing for change.
And there are times when rage and anger are misused to hide rather than break free. To restrict rather than expand. To silence rather than challenge. To keep from having a relationship with pain and fear that is calling me to accept and love myself.
I know I have work to do on this and making this distinction for myself between righteous anger with the purpose of expansion of possibility and the setting of necessary boundaries versus anger used to hide, restrict and kill off possibility.
Are you conscientious to be mindful when anger is authentic or do you hurt those you love to stand in your addiction to rage and avoidance of pain? I don’t do physical violence, I keep my hands to myself and personally, I don’t think I can ever be so conscious as to never emotionally hurt anyone ever in my life. That’s not humanly possible and that is just another mechanism to hide aka perfectionism. What I can do is my own work to face the abuser in me and support my own health by being aware of when I misuse the sacred emotion of anger.
I can be gentle and kind to myself and compassionate with myself with awareness to see when the rage is guiding me to hold my inner child with tenderness. When my anger is a call to love myself relentlessly and challenge any stories I hold that tell me I cannot, that tell me I am not worth it. I can hold myself as sacred and precious and acknowledge I am doing my best always to come from my heart. I can be aware when I falter, and get up and try again. Which is life’s practice, which is why I am here, to remember who I am. To remember I am love.
I choose to do my work to unhook from the violence of victim narratives and stand in my self responsibility of self love, self care, self compassion and self tenderness. The way I learn to hold myself with care, is the way I learn to listen to you. The most powerful form of activism is self love and the most powerful form advocacy is self care. This is the root of change, starting with doing the work within me as I am a part of the whole. Community begins to heal with the work of one.
il_340x270.1298914049_e1dn

Relating With Fear: From Bravado To Trust

Fear often masks itself as bravado- false confidence. While I understand its purpose, I’ve touched on bravado, I find myself expanding beyond this self protection. For me I would rather dive deep into the waters of my fear from a space of exploration. Not stay long, just be present with the visit. Create a relationship with my fear so that I can be present with what it is telling me when it comes up. For me this is how I allow fear to take its path and transmute. Fear can show me a lot about myself. I used to run from looking at fear. Now I know facing my fear gently, allowing vulnerability in my relationship with fear, this is my self care. This is my trust.

The Confrontation Of Identity Death & Rebirth

I face the identity consistently. Within myself and when I am faced with it externally. The identity exists to die and be reborn. When the identity is not allowed to take it’s course, like the Phoenix to burst into flames and be reborn from the ashes, it starts to corrupt, decompose and stink.

With how I have been faced here and the deep judgment on what I share, I am aware that many here are confronted by their perception of me and my stand. I welcome judgment and disagreement by those who are brave enough to actually follow through the experience, through the alchemy to understanding. To me absolute agreement is not required for understanding. Nor support.

I have always been one that has not been a coward when it comes to identity death and rebirth. That does not mean I have not resisted it, I do at times. However, I regularly race into the flames and dare the alchemy to burn away what isn’t.

I have had 7 years of intensive training with a teacher that was about cutting through illusions to seeing the heart of self. Then about 3 years of incredible work with accountable coaches with a clarity, integrity and stand for cutting through stories that stand in the way of the reality of the innate power, heart, community and difference one is.

I do not share this to create some illusion that I have ‘arrived’ as there is no place to arrive and life is ‘self-work’ until the final day. And really not just ‘work’ yet that is an integral piece for me in allowing the beauty of relaxing deeper into being. I do not share this to place myself above nor below anyone. I share this to share.

I am a warrior rooted deeply in my heart.

My stand is only for community, unity, relinquishing of illusion and the allowance of the death and rebirth of identity. I come purely from love, my heart and seeing something greater than me and small shadow tribal mindedness. There is nothing wrong with tribalism until there is. I face the identity beginning with me as that is always the origin is self.

When I speak to people here I come from a place of seeing each individual as powerful and greatness because to me that is truth.

I’m one of the few who runs towards danger not away. I face death threats, hatred more vile than I could have even imagined, told I should be raped and left in a guttter, told I should be lynched, told I am all things evil and vile- and why?

Because damn right I am an absolute threat to the identity.

I face the identity that wants to keep hatred and division in place and call that ‘comfort’. The identity that wants to pretend our differences make us ‘enemies’. I don’t think so. That is a lie. Our differences each have wisdom with the potential of creation in ways only possible in community.

I face hate daily in my conversations and I do so as I sing to the Phoenix-

It’s OK to die, you will be reborn with a splendor.
I am here in my heart and I see you.

Even as the external identity lashes out, I stand. Not against as is often misconstrued, I stand. In the hellfire, unwavering, because I believe in greatness of people and I will absorb no story that tries to pretend otherwise. I stand in the blue flames of hate unwavering not because I hate, I stand because I see past the story, I see a heart and I believe in that heart, I believe in community. I stand in tenderness and I stand in ferocity, as love is all of it.

So, feel free to judge me however you need. I’m not going anywhere. That is not a threat. That is a stand. And I just shared what that stand is.

684ec702536e7c4dcbe0a85701526894

Man & Woman Source Life Together

Man and woman. Both life. Yet, we negate man as a part of life. We travel the length of his lingam to meet our mother’s body and mature. By the miracle of the two of them, and the extraordinary biology still laden with much mystery, we live.
 
Why do we continue to negate the life source that is man?
 
From the beginning of time there has been the love of woman, which is beautiful. Since before language was born. Continuing throughout history most of our literature was written by man and man has always loved woman. Heralded womanhood, protected woman, humbled by the being of woman and even exalted woman above himself as all things innocent in this world.
 
Woman has been the miracle of life…yet, why do we forget that man has been too?
 
For as a human female, I am not capable of asexual reproduction. Fact. If it were not for man, there would be no life. Man is just as vital a source of life.
 
As for the love of woman, why do we still question it exists as well? Our oldest poetry is all about how woman is absolutely everything. Predominantly written by man. How can we not see just how much man treasures woman and how this love for women has always existed?
 
Each existing in the fibers of each other, man and woman are life source together.
man-kiss-woman-adam-art-last-kiss-3d-1080x1920

To My Fellow Black Men & Women: Stop Listening To A Racists View On You.

I noticed in my life I spent a lot of time validating what the racists view on me. I’ve realized: those views are completely insignificant. I believe as the Black community we have spent our lives being told those viewpoints are valid or real above our own true viewpoints of the beauty of who we are.
 
That is incorrect.
 
Here’s what I have found, superiority cannot exist without inferiority at the root. Have you noticed how someone acts when they feel inferior to you? Put downs to bring you down, comparisons to make you feel like you do not hold up, gaslighting every time you succeed or contribute that in fact you did not succeed or contribute. Those racist points of view are NOT who we are. We cannot look to those who feel inferior to give us an accurate view of who we are, nor to those who feel we are superior because both are based on inferiority. Never can we look to anyone, regardless, for an accurate view of who we are.
 
What are the common conversations of us in a society led by racism and with deep roots of racism toward the black community? All of them come back to the view of us as ‘uncivilized’ because our roots are from Africa. Almost as if slavery was an entitlement because we were just ‘uncivilized’ anyway. The myth that we are violent because of our pigmentation, again back to the conversation of us being ‘uncivilized’ because of our skin tone. A lot of this is religiously based with the story of a white God and white Angels and white Jesus and a black devil and all things dark meaning we are evil or bad because we too are dark. The same language is not being used today, yet the connotations are all there. All of this based on the ignorance in misconstruing the metaphor of the shadow.
 
What is uncivilized about our roots in Africa? What is uncivilized about Africa? We all came from Africa. Every single one of us. Our Asian brothers and sisters, Native American, White, Indian, Aboriginal, and of course our Black brothers and sisters. We all come from the same bosom. What is uncivilized about that?
 
History has been brutal throughout and no one exempt from that brutality yet racists would want you to believe -while justifying and ignoring the brutality of slavery and even justifying and ignoring the brutal reality of the Holocaust – they are the one ‘pure’ race. Ha! How freaking ridiculous and delusional is that?? If someone came up to you in a tin foil hat and said ‘I am the one true race’ would you not just laugh in their face at their freaking ridiculousness?? Or even feel pity for them because that is not a healthy normal story and may even be rooted in some type of mental health issue?
 
YET we validate these completely off the rocker ideas being aimed at us! Why? Because we have bought into the viewpoint of us from the eyes of the racist! How can we view ourselves through that viewpoint? We cannot. We will not be able to see the beauty we are in this world and in society daily. I lived that for so long comparing myself to the way racists viewed me and it was excruciatingly painful. I wanted to just give up. I felt defeated. I felt ugly. I felt gross. I felt inferior.
 
There was no way I could see myself succeeding with allowing those racist views to ride on my back. No way I could reach for joy in who I was with allowing myself to be painted with hatred as if it were a true mirror of who I was. No way I could let my voice squeeze from my throat while I let myself wrap that hate to choke myself silent. I watched as statistics were used as weapons to continue to tell me what a brutal uncivilized dark witch I was. Yet watched as the same racists fed me dollars to take my clothes off for them. Watched as my sisters were brutalized in ‘amateur’ porn and hyper-sexualized as the ‘horny black woman’. Watched as these racists called me a nigger in one breath then told me how ‘sexy’ I was in the next.
 
You tell me: Why would I continue to live from the view of people who hate me? Also, their hatred of me has NOTHING to do with me, nor you my fellow Black brothers and sisters. Absolutely nothing! Though we have been told that it does, we keep being fed that it does, that the racism aimed at us is justified. We keep being told to eat that sickness as if it is meant for us as if we deserve it as if we must to be ‘allowed’ to be among the racist. As if it is a privilege to be among racists and this is the price we must pay.
 
I say NO MORE!
 
The racists’ hatred projected onto us has NOTHING to do with us! Hatred is born within. It is something we all feel at one point or another. Yet it is a feeling to be transmuted and release or it becomes poison. The racist is irresponsible with their hatred, just like any violent person is. Someone’s hate of me, no matter how sure they believe it is about me, has nothing to do with me and has nothing to do with you. We have been taught to believe racism is about us and I am here to tell you IT IS NOT! Racism is deep self-hatred projected outward and has nothing to do with whomever it is aimed at.
 
I have stopped validating the racists view on me. I dismiss it, I roll my eyes at it, I laugh at it, I pity it. It is NOT real. And I am done playing with that fantasy.
 
What is real is my feet on the grass, my toes in the lake, my smile returning the sun’s smile, my laughter with my fellow brothers and sisters across the skin rainbow spectrum.
 
The racists game wants us to play to see if we can ‘win’ the racists game which is not possible. I say screw the game rise above! Let’s support each other. Let’s let go of the stories placed in our community to divide us! Stepping out of the racist’s domain and illusion and standing here in the reality of the community we BELONG to. We don’t have to prove anything! We BELONG here! This is our home. Wherever we originated, Africa, Carribean and so forth, we are here and we BELONG! The racist will have you believe in the story of their belonging yet we know the only ones who originated on this land is the Native Americans. We all come from across the map- see how delusional racist ‘thinking’ is?
 
The greatest revolution in the Black community MUST be self-love! We need to no longer buy that self-love is not your kingdom. It is! Reign in self-love! Know you are worthy simply in being Let our art be seen! Our creations be expressed! Our cooking be experienced! Our culture be experienced! Our being, simply in being, let us be with. Simply in being, we are worthy, we are love, we are the Black community and not only do we belong here, we have the possibility to shape what happens next.
 
I love myself, I know myself as worthy simply in being. I love my dark skin, my dark eyes, my dark hair. And I do not have to hate the hater. I have the power in me to transmute this historical pain, to recognize the racist as living in a dark fantasy that has nothing to do with me. I do not need to rage at the hater for it would just be a violence to me as it is born in my body. Drinking poison and hoping the racist gets sick. Well, I have drunk enough poison for the racist. My life does not belong to the racist anymore. In the instant of that recognition, I am free.
 
I will no longer bow to the illusions of cruelty, I will only humble myself to the greatness of my heart.
 
I implore you, my beautiful Black brothers and sisters, stop validating the delusional view of who you are from the racist’s eyes. Stop playing a game made for you to lose. Reign in the kingdom that is your birthright. Luxuriate in the love of your being. I see me, I see you. Descendents of Pharaohs and Queens, know your birthright is sovereignty.
 
I vow my tenderness to my being in the revolution that is love.
 
I stand here with my Black brothers and sisters, in knowing who I truly am is right here in me, in no one’s eyes but my own, in the love of my being. That is true sight.
 
I stand with my brothers and sisters of all ethnicity as we remember we all come from the same bosom and all belong here. Our natural state is community, the rest is the illusion to be challenged. We all belong. Never let anyone enroll you in a fantasy that says otherwise.
 
We Rise, We Rise Together.
Hate-begets-hate-violence-begets-violence-toughness-begets-a-greater-toughness.-We-must-meet-the-forces-of-hate...-Martin-Luther

The Masculine & The Feminine

The social rule of women weaponized against man, I break it all of the time. It is not one I am here to comply with. I’ve lived it and then found the lie hidden in plain sight seated in the heart of man, waiting for me to wake up. The tenderness of man, sweet nurture in the breast of protector.
 
My ferocity, my fury, my wilderness was never meant to be weaponized against men it is my alchemy, my feminine howl sourcing deep from the molten in me, meeting the crashing waves, the tsunami in me. This audacity in me, this rule breaker, this laugh with the moon fire dancer, this wildcat is my galactic imprint moving my body, painting my songs, absolute surrender to ancient philosophy genetically spoken. This braved heart petal kisser, this bare toes kissing grass, this deep breath relaxation onto belly of soil. To bastardize this into a weapon against man to me is to disrespect and degrade the deep being of my womanhood.
 
I stand by the deep being of man, his wilderness, his cry out to the stars, his footprint steady and solid as the dust makes way for his feet, his whisper to the trees, his grounding, the gentle stroke of his forefinger behind the ear of beast who acquiesced. His mighty being, his vulnerable softness, his unapologetic unbridled passion laughing through to break the echoes of complicity baring a path that dares the known to give way to limitless possibility. The call in his heart of pure dare and care, his inspiration of self care retainer, the challenge in his eyes imploring one to choose rise in self sight and evolution, while resting in heart to pour waterfall of authenticity. He dares to break open worlds. To misconstrue his being as hindrance is to disrespect and degrade the source of life that is man.
 
What the protector protects is not weak, nor separate but his counterpart. Who always stands powerfully by his side. At times it is not she whom he protects but those who seek her wrath. No one knows how to diffuse and ground like the masculine. No one. He is balance.
 
Ready as co-creators, together seeding, birthing languages of discover stitched into the unconsciousness awaiting rebirth. Reviving portals gasping to be seen. Imagining from dreams to paper, to home, to breath. The vivid creative unstoppable force of expansion when man and woman step ground together. Each honored is paramount.
 
So, I will dance by the fire with my brothers and sisters.
Lest you call out to the feminine. You will meet her.
Writing By Kristal D. Garcia
Photo by Jake Davies: https://unsplash.com/@jakedavies
jake-davies-235504-unsplash