Equality

I do not believe in female supremacy because I DO stand for equality. Supremacy cannot exist without a basis of inferiority. I do not see myself as inferior to men, rather I see men as my fellow human beings. Not above, nor below. Together.

graham-hunt-564427-unsplasadh

Advertisements

#MindfulBasedActivism

I’ve started the hashtag: #MindfulBasedActivism Not to be confused with bypassing, avoidance, ‘playing nice’. Rather to me, Mindful Based Activism is about authenticity, self-care, self-love & learning to expand my listening. I’m new to this myself.

In my commitment to #MindfulBasedActivism, I explore ways of expanding the listening on Mens Rights & other topics. I also prioritize finding ways of expanding my listening. Which means getting present to another person’s reality & meeting them there.

For me, #MindfulBasedActivism must begin with my relationship to self. Kindness begins with me being kind to me by prioritizing my self care & self love. To me activism & advocacy is about my growth as a person, who I am in my community & expansion of conversation.

To me, #MindfulBasedActivism is about getting real. About facing social blindspots & blindspots in the Human Rights conversation. It’s about learning to self care in the pushback & be kind to myself & remember the human being before me feels just as much as I do.

The love in to me is about facing the identity with illusion breaking authentic tenderness or authentic ferocity of the heart starting within. Self love is the root.

DQdVTHvUIAAXcM-

We Do Not Have To Silence Men To Support Women: Can You Hear Men’s Pain?

I face the unconsciousness that is aimed at men daily, by choice. I choose to do my work and get uncomfortable and look. I do not believe that speaking up about male victims means you don’t support female victims. That bizarre story is just NOT my world.

I also don’t believe that supporting female victims means turning a blind eye to men and our impact as a society in our conversations about men. I don’t believe that supporting women means shaming men, that is just NOT my world either and I have zero interest in it.

Speaking up about how we treat men as a society does NOT mean being against #metoo. What a bizarre concept!! That only ONE can be heard? NOT my world either! I will continue to speak up about male victims and continue to point out the unconsciousness and how we completely silence male victims by projecting that males are criminals simply for being born male. I stand by EXPANDING our conversations to include ALL victims and that means #MenToo

Can you see the innocence of men just as readily as you can see the innocence of women? Can you hear his pain as readily as you can hear the pain of women?

My god where are we as a world if we cannot.

22046657_1724533744247733_4856526733241665265_n

Men, Masculine, Maleness Is Beautiful, Right Now. NOTHING to fix!

There are so many ‘practitioners’ that when they say they ‘support’ men the drive behind it is actually to ‘fix’ men. We have a bad habit as a society of treating men like broken women. Because we have been so bereft of spending time with male energy of actually appreciating masculine and maleness.
 
As if maleness needs to be ‘fixed’ or ‘supported’ into being like the ideal which has become woman. As a woman I could absolutely just throw my hands up in the air and bask in that sickness if I wanted to. It would support my ego and I would have all the agreement in the world to go along with that rather than face my own shadow. As a matter of fact I did unconsciously do just that for most of my life.
 
What happens when we actually listen to men?
 
We have demolished almost all male only spaces. We have shamed male gatherings. Now somehow women are supposed to tell men how to be men? lol Am I supposed to be told how to be a woman? No one can tell me how to be a woman, I just am. No one can tell a man how to be a man, he just is. This bizarre infantalization is so condescending and so broken as if men must come to women to be told how to behave. Sounds like a twisting of mother/child as if men are children and must be shown by ‘mother’ how to be…what?
 
How is that equal partnership to men?
 
Men gathering with their brothers is what has been expressed to me by men that men are seeking. Not being reprimanded for not being women or taught to ‘be good’ by men either just being received from the heart by their brothers. Not me telling men what to do that is of course coming from a female perspective and not honoring the differences men and women have.
 
We need to stop looking at men as if there is something inherently wrong with men for not being women! There isn’t!
 
Men don’t need a course to be men.
 
God. Men are naturally just fine as they are. This is so even weird that I have to say something like this. Stop treating men as if men are broken for being male.
 
Men, masculine, maleness is beautiful and whole as is. Right now. NOTHING to fix!
521a15fa67221db59a66130ea1c7e8eb--shiva-tattoo-shiva-shakti

To Hell With ‘Patriarchy’ Theory

To hell with ‘patriarchy’ theory. It was created by a white woman during the times of the Civil Rights Movement. How disconnected is that? This theory is based on her perception that men just want to dominate women. Well, that may have been her personal viewpoint, that does not make it a perspective to follow as truth.
 
The reality is ‘patriarchy’ theory has been and is being used to completely dominate men. We have used it to silence men from speaking up and disagreeing with being told they are innately criminals or their very makeup is ‘toxic’. We have used ‘patriarchy’ theory to silence male victims. We have used this theory to gaslight men when men say the theory is not true we have called men ‘misogynists’ for coming forward and sharing their pain.
 
LISTEN! Patriarchy theory so ingrained in blaming men for all the ills of the world, for their own victimization. This theory enables and normalizes violence towards men. Creates a sick justification of violence towards men because ‘well they invented patriarchy’. No. Some disconnected woman invented ‘patriarchy theory’ based on her panic driven view on society, men and herself. She wasn’t even connected to the female predator and female victims of female predators.
 
I am calling out ‘patriarchy’ theory as violence towards men. Men are told so much all is their fault, maleness is at fault, that men are left completely silenced when they are victimized especially by women. Men think they are the one’s who did something wrong when a woman raped them and they have no foundation in society to let them know, no, they are not at fault for their rape.
 
We must recognize that men too have suffered throughout time. We MUST listen to the voices of male victims. The lives of men matter, the pain and victimization of men is real.
 
Men your voices matter.
30127502_831168190401088_7505453541578768384_n

Rape and Grooming.

There is a terminology in rape that is called ‘grooming’ and it is not just about children. Adults are ‘groomed’ too. The rapist begins with creating a relationship usually where the rapist has created a facade/persona that they wear to gain their victims trust.

Once trust is gained, the rapist continues to groom by slowly breaking down the persons defenses. Often the groomer places themselves as an ‘expert’ of some field that person is not and uses the field as a way to pretend they are in service to people.
In this way the groomer creates an element of they must not be questioned or if they are, they gaslight the victim to believe they just do not understand their ‘expertise’.

Then, once the victim has trusted them, the rapist begins by violating the vulnerable space of trust where the person is in such a tender space, the rapist violates this by coercing and pulling the person towards what sexually gratifies the perpetrator. It can begin non sexual with a touch as simple as touching a shoulder, or moving in close to the person, or saying sweet things. The perp is getting off on this even if it is not sexual as it is part of the grooming. Once the rapist has gotten the person desensitized to their touch, that is when they move in for the assault as in forced voyeurism, unwanted sexual verbal advances and rape.

The groomer often isolates the victim so they are not allowed to speak up and are either shamed silent – this especially happens when there is a dogma attached to it ‘you need to let me do this so you can be a REAL woman’ and also especially when women groom men for rape as our society STILL is waking up about the fact that women rape men and an erection is NOT consent- physically intimidated, blackmailed and so on.

Anything the rapist can come up with to make the victim feel as if they are the one’s who have done something wrong.

 

http://victimsofcrime.org/media/reporting-on-child-sexual-abuse/grooming-dynamic-of-csa

29683849_829876487196925_1473777080143749221_n