Sacred Dance Between Man & Woman

I believe there is a calling out for harmony between woman & man. This harmony begins with facing the disharmony within & the unconsciousness that keeps the divide in place. First I must look: Where am I projecting my hurt onto an entire gender?
 
Sacred dance between man & woman is not only of romance. In fact what I speak of is not a romantic notion. It is the harmony between woman & man in conscious community together. Our potential as human beings is stifled until we deeply explore this.
 
Whether the conversation between man and woman is of romance, or whether it is simply in community, where do we allow politics to hurt our ability to see each other as fellow human beings?
isaiah-mcclean-46kjh1400-unsplash
kelly-searle-583424-unsplashasd
Advertisements

To Value Men Is To Listen.

What I found was that to say I love men is precious, yet to let myself be vulnerable enough to sit in the dirt with my brothers is such a cracking open of my identity and the words I held onto. Even after years of looking, I still have to face the residuals in me of the worldview that has become so commonplace it has become a global blindspot on men and boys.

For instance, going to share a bit raw, #bringbackourgirls never once mentioned nor lamented the boys had been immediately brutally murdered. Why were they killed right away? This is the time old story of how the lives of males have been disposable since the beginning of humanity and the lives of women more valued. These criminals were also known to not go near the female dorms at all or tell the girls to go home and get married when they grew up while the boys were slaughtered like animals shot as they ran in terror.

The life of a boy was shown unable to be a strong bargaining chip which also shows our conversation as a whole as a society. It wasn’t just the criminals who killed those boys, I was made aware it was our lack of listening to the global reality of the violence enacted onto men. It was our lack of listening to the value of the life of males.

To ask men as a whole to say yes they are responsible for my personal abuse because they are male does not work as it is not true and also asks men to erase their pain and the pain of boys and men globally. It makes the distinction between man and criminal- which is not a gendered reality- imperative. Men are not criminals for being born male and so are not responsible for the actions of criminals because they happen to share their gender.

Just as I as a woman am not responsible for the actions of criminals because they happen to be women. We do not blame women for female criminals- actually as a society we are so sick in this conversation we even blame men for female criminals-we are clear in the distinction between woman and criminal. The detriment is we lack the clear distinction between man and criminal and this is literally killing men. I didn’t realize I didn’t have that distinction until I recognized it. It was a massive blindspot alleviated that forever changed my worldview and life.

I would assert there is a lacking of loving women until we see women as powerful and capable of action and a loving of men lacking until we see men the vulnerability and suffering of men. I’m not saying that from a make wrong but rather my personal experience.

To value men is to listen. To value myself and my voice is to listen as speaking is not complete without listening.

What I found was my ‘I love men’ statement and feeling was a beginning, yet for me personally- speaking for myself- I had only just began to peek through the looking glass.

And I found that nothing is as it seems.

Your Masculinity Is Art.

Your masculinity is art. Your masculinity is life. Your masculinity is love. Masculinity, the essence of man, maleness. In masculinity also is the essence of protector which has been taken advantage of and objectified for so long. Protector nurtures, there is deep tenderness necessary to protect. Masculinity is nurturing tenderness deeply rooted. The history of man as violence is not the full story, as history shows and present day shows the deep love of man. Since the first man existed men have protected women, from nature’s violent tempers and beasts, even taming them to walk by our side.

The love of man is in the homes we reside in, the meat we eat, the farms we are nurtured by, the sewers that keep our cities clean, the oil rigs that dangerously run for us to use this very technology. The love of man is in the coal mines where men are working 13 hours a day their lungs being covered in black, their bodies dusted and painted with dominating coal thick and difficult to wipe off. The love of man is in the consistent desire to see women happy and safe throughout time. When we conflate the history of male criminals with maleness we are wrong. For men are NOT criminal for being born male. And men have fought criminals and established many kinds of order to keep women safe even at their own expense.

This history of man is laden with the sacrifice of man and for this to not be remembered I find to be a massive mistake. Men throughout history their lives were treated as indifferent, a man dying not a tragedy, a woman dying yes. To forget this is to not be connected with reality.

YES your masculinity is ART and it should NOT be taken for granted nor taken advantage of by anyone who believes the deep lie that maleness equates to criminality or by anyone at all. To equate maleness with criminality is a grotesque farce and a cowards way to avoid self.

Inspired by RO.

Men, Masculine, Maleness Is Beautiful, Right Now. NOTHING to fix!

There are so many ‘practitioners’ that when they say they ‘support’ men the drive behind it is actually to ‘fix’ men. We have a bad habit as a society of treating men like broken women. Because we have been so bereft of spending time with male energy of actually appreciating masculine and maleness.
 
As if maleness needs to be ‘fixed’ or ‘supported’ into being like the ideal which has become woman. As a woman I could absolutely just throw my hands up in the air and bask in that sickness if I wanted to. It would support my ego and I would have all the agreement in the world to go along with that rather than face my own shadow. As a matter of fact I did unconsciously do just that for most of my life.
 
What happens when we actually listen to men?
 
We have demolished almost all male only spaces. We have shamed male gatherings. Now somehow women are supposed to tell men how to be men? lol Am I supposed to be told how to be a woman? No one can tell me how to be a woman, I just am. No one can tell a man how to be a man, he just is. This bizarre infantalization is so condescending and so broken as if men must come to women to be told how to behave. Sounds like a twisting of mother/child as if men are children and must be shown by ‘mother’ how to be…what?
 
How is that equal partnership to men?
 
Men gathering with their brothers is what has been expressed to me by men that men are seeking. Not being reprimanded for not being women or taught to ‘be good’ by men either just being received from the heart by their brothers. Not me telling men what to do that is of course coming from a female perspective and not honoring the differences men and women have.
 
We need to stop looking at men as if there is something inherently wrong with men for not being women! There isn’t!
 
Men don’t need a course to be men.
 
God. Men are naturally just fine as they are. This is so even weird that I have to say something like this. Stop treating men as if men are broken for being male.
 
Men, masculine, maleness is beautiful and whole as is. Right now. NOTHING to fix!
521a15fa67221db59a66130ea1c7e8eb--shiva-tattoo-shiva-shakti

The Bravado of Avoiding Self Responsibility In Our Conversations Of Men

In today’s video on my YouTube Show Celebrating The Love of Being, titled ‘The Unconsciousness of “I love men, as long as they…”‘ [See video below ] I briefly touch on the bravado of self avoidance. Avoiding self responsibility is not ’empowerment’ but rather the bravado of not being responsible. This is a conversation that is present across the gender line and in this conversation I will speak about the unconscious bravado aimed at men.

Unfortunately, I am seeing under the guise of ‘female empowerment’ the bravado of avoiding self responsibility in relating with and having conversations about men and self. It is not ‘female empowerment’ to not be responsible for my listening of men and respecting a man’s ‘No’. For I must be responsible for listening to my own needs. And if I recognize my needs are important, how could I shame men for sharing their needs are important?

It is not ‘female empowerment’ to use defensive bravado as a way to hide from the fact that I am not listening to a man’s voice and am in fact shaming men for speaking up about their needs. This experience is not only under the precise conversation of ‘female empowerment’ it is also in any avenue where bravado can be confused as a woman using her voice ‘powerfully’ when in fact shaming of men is happening.

The bravado that is the basis of shaming men and the conversations of denigration aimed at men is in fact self avoidance. It can be uncomfortable to listen and look when a man says, ‘No’ to how they are being approached, being represented, objectified, demanded of and manipulated. I recognize that often this can be unconscious these actions aimed at men and yet, it is up to me to look and listen when a man points them out to me. I understand that facing my unconsciousness with men and with anyone is very uncomfortable.

However, in a society that is very quick to dismiss the unconsciousness and denigrating conversations and actions aimed towards men while also confusing and conflating this abuse of men as ‘female empowerment’ or ‘a strong woman’ I must absolutely be vigilant lest I allow myself to excuse my unconsciousness towards men. In a society where my self avoidance bravado of shutting down my listening down towards men is celebrated by a sleeping society, it is my responsibility to keep checking my own awareness of this. In this society it is easy to get swept away in the drunken acceptance of praise for being reckless and harmful towards men, I did before in my own unconsciousness. And this is why it takes hard work to look and question this self avoidance bravado cloaked as ‘female empowerment’ or it’s ‘a strong woman’ who speaks abusively towards men or shuts down a man’s voice. That is not ’empowerment’ that is inferiority parading about pretending ‘superiority’. I am very clear I am inferior to no one and that is why I choose to not to pretend I am superior either. There are actual powerful, vital and even beautiful conversations being had that support women in society and this bravado is not a part of this. Anything that is actually based on being hurtful and dismissive towards men is a masquerade of the real conversations that are important for women. Shaming men is not ‘female empowerment’. I choose to not entertain that myth.

To me there is nothing ‘strong’ about shutting down the voice of another. Such a desire to me is Fear baffled by the confrontation of the call to self responsibility. What is missed, is self responsibility is another way to recognize myself as a powerful being. Not powerful in the sense of domination as that is not power, powerful in a sense of recognizing the beauty of my being and in this recognizing the beauty of the being before me and that we are both important, not just me.

Happy International Men’s Day- You Are Loved

Happy International Men’s Day ❤
 
Dear men,
 
You are so loved and deeply appreciated. Your wisdom is beautiful and welcome. Your masculinity is beautiful, as your maleness is beautiful. I honor your heart, soul, mind, and body in recognizing you as a source of life, from a space of humility and respect.
 
I am grateful for all you have done and do directly or indirectly to keep me safe in my daily life. I’m grateful for who you have been historically as men are centuries of love. I recognize the sacredness of the protector you are which has been the root of much innovation, the reason we have a roof above our heads, electricity to keep us warm to survive the elements and live in luxury. I see the sacrifices you have made and make so I can live a life where I have the luxury of not even being aware of what you have given for my safety.
 
Beyond what you do, thank you for your being. Thank you for the nurturing tenderness you are. The beautiful groundedness clarity and playfulness. Thank you simply for being. Uniquely as you are. Thank you for the heart of you that shows up every day. Thank you for the warmth of your being. Honored to be in this world alongside you my brothers.
 
I love and celebrate you. I am honored to.
23632446_767639450087296_5980084530893781338_o(1)