What if we as women were kind to each other?

What would it look like if we as women were kind to each other? I know this is a humanity conversation and here I want to address how we as women are with each other. What would it look like if we looked at another woman and could appreciate her whatever she looked like? Give her a compliment, cheer her on as she’s jogging past? What does it really look like to be supportive of each other?

I used to be jealous of the fit woman jogging past and that was only because I didn’t feel good about myself. To me this is why it all always comes back to self love. I wasn’t happy with my body so I used to get bitter when I saw a fit woman or I used to sneer at a heavy woman working out. As I started to be gentle with myself, I started to see the beauty and inspiration in women all around me! Now when I see woman jogging past this feeling of pride and love comes up. Good for her! And I let her inspire me.

I’ve noticed jealousy doesn’t seem to come up for me like it used to the more I’m in loving and celebrating myself and doing what I love, living authentically and following my passions. If jealousy does come up, I don’t make it wrong, I use it as a path to self care. What I do not do with jealousy if it is present, is spread it around. I don’t feed my jealousy by making ‘jokes’ with someone or sneering at a woman or giving her dirty looks, I instead take my time to feel it, and ask myself, what about her do I feel unworthy of in myself? Then I let jealousy be the path to inspiration. I let the woman who I am jealous of inspire me to love myself and see my own worth and create what I want in my life without fixing myself, rather simply loving myself. Most of the times no action is needed beyond surrendering to self love.

As I share my love with my self, I get to share that love with the women in this world and cheer them on. Let’s be kind to each other as women. Just like men need time with men, we need time with other women. It’s very healthy. Let’s not use that time to talk down about other women, rather lets lift women up starting with celebrating ourselves!

Follow me on my Facebook page ‘The Art Of Femininity’ to explore more this conversation of loving ourselves as women and loving and embracing each other:



Self Love Warrior

I have created my life so that everything I am working on and working with is based on Self Love. My book, ‘100 Days Of Loving Men: A Woman’s Journey Into Recovery’. My YouTube channel ‘Celebrating The Love Of Being’ which all comes down to loving self, simply in being. My hashtag campaign #MyRebellionIsSelfLove which has become a space for me to be with in me and identifying as Self Love Warrior which has been a cool way to refocus myself and thoughts, new new practice. And finally, creating my own brand of Burlesque, Rebel Soul Burlesque which is all about self love and uses the motto ‘My Rebellion Is Self Love.
So, here I sit in the face of my failures, recent and past, and ask myself, who the hell am I to talk so much about self love? To surround myself with all of these things all based on the conversation of self love even when I have the very human experience of self loathing come up for me? Sitting here in a battle for my self love and claiming my space in the conversation of self love and in my life? Which really all comes down to me asking- Who am I to love myself?
I am starting to reply- Who am I to not? Sitting face to face with my shadow, facing uncertainty and the terror of the unknown who am I not to love me? Who am I not to battle for my self love when I need to? Who am I to not keep holding and looking at all that I want to hide and rather instead, love myself? So I hold myself with tenderness and bend my knees as I stand on the ship that braves the storm so that I may ride the choppy waters and not get sea sick. I am here to love myself.

Sexuality & Self Love

Sexuality is not a separate conversation from self love. To me Self love is the root of a fulfilled healthy life and that is inclusive of sexuality. It’s just not separate to me. Breath, shadow, body, erotic energy, sensuality, sexuality, is all life and aliveness. To me, loving self is loving all of me, exclusive of nothing.


Self Love Warrior

The warrior in me has held my hand through trials and unknown, to bring me from war weary battlefields to the beauty of braving the challenge of being the Love I know myself to be.

Freedom Of The Heart

For me I have noticed I can use ‘I don’t understand’ to nose dive into my judgments and close myself off from people. Shutting my heart to people and creating distance with judging them seems ‘safer’ than facing whatever is really present.

I’m starting to appreciate that understanding is not more important than compassion and intimacy. And if I prioritize compassion, I may probably be more open to understanding on some level, even if not entirely, because of my openness to intimacy.

And some things, I will never understand. And some times goodbye is right. There is self care in that too. So long as I am coming from awareness of my flight habit, self care and self love, I will be able to distinguish this.

I’m just ready to change my story.



Thank You Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

To the man who is the reason I have human rights today. Thank you for your vision, your heart, your compassion and your sacrifice so that I can be free. My hero who inspires me to grow as a human being, who’s heart in the face of disagreement changed America forever. I would not be able to sit here and write this if it weren’t for this man. I would not be treated like an equal human being if it were not for his dedication to me, the future he did not get to see, though I’d like to think he’s watching from somewhere.
To the man who braved it all, to the people who braved dehumanization and violence simply for being born the ‘wrong’ color in the eyes of the masses. To those who were brutalized, violated, murdered simply for being born a beautiful brown.To those who dared support the black community and were not black themselves yet were treated as black for daring to have compassion for us and therefore too brutalized, violated or murdered. To the children who watched and grew up in these horrors who are now our elderly today. Who braved the times of segregation and ‘integration’.
To those who have suffered still as victims from the run off of the times before and during Dr. Martin Luther Kng Jr, you will not be forgotten. I take this day to be grateful to my hero Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, for daring to say no to the status quo. For daring to not comply with the ‘norm’ but instead question and break the hateful illusions that kept the dehumanization of the black community in place. He embraced all as he stood as a firm pillar for he black community and our freedom.
Thank you Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, it is because of you and your dream that I live free and recognized as a human being in my own country and the world.