I have found much of my anger and resentment is rooted in avoiding forgiveness. Forgiveness of past anything. In allowance, I experience what forgiveness feels like in my body. I envision tall grass speckled with bright purple flowers. Not far to my left there is a house, it is simple and filled with the feeling of family, friendship, love, cozy. I see a warm wave of golden light rolling across the grass with a kaleidoscope of butterflies coming towards me and entering my heart.The butterflies are unexpected, I haven’t given them much thought in I can’t remember when.
Under canopy of kissing trees arms adorned with fruit, down the path of forgiveness, there is at the final stretch by the rolling waves, forgiveness of self. I unpack my final releasings a glass orb representative of what I used to use to harm myself. I expel it to be swallowed by the ocean. I will return here as needed. I sit looking at my embroidered shoes, enjoying the flow of my dress and robe pooling around me. I watch the sunset before I head back home. Fireflies kiss my path illuminating my steps.
This is my most beautiful gift to myself, self-forgiveness. It is only ever within me. I feel my pack empty and transformed, ready for the next trip.
Hope and gratitude
Hope is a very delicate thing. A tender whisper cupped to breast. I can place it in the arms of gratitude and allow it to flourish. It is but a tiny presence purring ‘grow me’. I surrender in it’s call for grace. The unknown pregnant with miracles beyond my awareness. All I can do is trust. I bathe in stream of gratitude, taste the honey of now. Fruit pressed to my lips allowing gentle crease, tastes of heaven. In the now I am whole.