Here’s An Illusion Breaker: No One Needs Porn.

I have first hand seen effects of the lie being pushed onto men that they need the sex industry/porn, I have lived it I have had the tears on my chest from it. I have worked with male sex workers, clientele, I have absolutely listened to the male perspective, the men that have had their lives destroyed and are not given voice.

I have seen the effects of women being told the sex industry/porn is ’empowering’. I have seen the broken bodies, the pain, the regret. I have seen the desire to self express be harnessed for the sex industry machine. I have listened to and lived the female perspective.

Here’s an illusion breaker: No one needs porn. Biggest lie that feeds the sex industry is that the sex industry is necessary. It is not. And that statement will be confronting until the conversation of being with, exploring, knowing self becomes more exciting than the avoidance addiction of the sex industry/porn.



I Was A Sex Addict

I was a sex addict. And I live in a society that praised me for it, called me ’empowered’ for it, ‘powerful’ for it.Yet I would go home, spend my days in bed depressed not knowing why. And do it all over again. Sometimes I wouldn’t eat, just drink alcohol. When I speak about ‘sex addiction’ the term itself is objectified and I am met with people who get excited about the thought. Yes, sex addiction has become exciting for people. My suffering, my pain, my disconnect, someone was using to get off on. Myself included.

It took me years to detox from the mentality and mannerisms of the sex industry and get honest with myself. I was violating my own body with my touch. It was like I wasn’t even touching myself I was enacting upon myself. It wasn’t tender self exploration or love, my own touch was violence. I would do it several times a day even if I hurt myself.

Sex addiction is not ‘sexy’ it is painful, I suffered.


Josephine Baker

Josephine Baker is my absolute favorite Burlesque Dancer. When I first heard of her I was thrilled to know there were Black Burlesque stars. Josephine Baker was such an extraordinary woman. She was the first Black person to become a globally renown entertainer and star in a major movie production. She was a spy in WWII for France, even flew a plane for fun and is one of the least known figures of the Civil Rights Movement.

Josephine Baker, in fact, spoke along side of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr and Rosa Parks. She even used her Burlesque to support her activism and refused to perform for segregated audiences. Because she was so famous and so revered, the clubs would eventually cave in and so because of her clubs she performed in such as in Las Vegas, Nevada became integrated. For doing this the KKK began threatening via phone calls. But she was not to be swayed. Josephine Baker continued to support the end to segregation.

Josephine was awarded a lifetime membership for her speaking and many efforts.

She is definitely a heroine of mine!

Happy Black History Month!

Self Love Warrior

The warrior in me has held my hand through trials and unknown, to bring me from war weary battlefields to the beauty of braving the challenge of being the Love I know myself to be.

Freedom Of The Heart

For me I have noticed I can use ‘I don’t understand’ to nose dive into my judgments and close myself off from people. Shutting my heart to people and creating distance with judging them seems ‘safer’ than facing whatever is really present.

I’m starting to appreciate that understanding is not more important than compassion and intimacy. And if I prioritize compassion, I may probably be more open to understanding on some level, even if not entirely, because of my openness to intimacy.

And some things, I will never understand. And some times goodbye is right. There is self care in that too. So long as I am coming from awareness of my flight habit, self care and self love, I will be able to distinguish this.

I’m just ready to change my story.



Thank You Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

To the man who is the reason I have human rights today. Thank you for your vision, your heart, your compassion and your sacrifice so that I can be free. My hero who inspires me to grow as a human being, who’s heart in the face of disagreement changed America forever. I would not be able to sit here and write this if it weren’t for this man. I would not be treated like an equal human being if it were not for his dedication to me, the future he did not get to see, though I’d like to think he’s watching from somewhere.
To the man who braved it all, to the people who braved dehumanization and violence simply for being born the ‘wrong’ color in the eyes of the masses. To those who were brutalized, violated, murdered simply for being born a beautiful brown.To those who dared support the black community and were not black themselves yet were treated as black for daring to have compassion for us and therefore too brutalized, violated or murdered. To the children who watched and grew up in these horrors who are now our elderly today. Who braved the times of segregation and ‘integration’.
To those who have suffered still as victims from the run off of the times before and during Dr. Martin Luther Kng Jr, you will not be forgotten. I take this day to be grateful to my hero Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, for daring to say no to the status quo. For daring to not comply with the ‘norm’ but instead question and break the hateful illusions that kept the dehumanization of the black community in place. He embraced all as he stood as a firm pillar for he black community and our freedom.
Thank you Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, it is because of you and your dream that I live free and recognized as a human being in my own country and the world.

So, What Is White Privilege, Really?

To me white privilege a mindfulness conversation of the reality that in US [and other countries] the basis is the white community as the ‘norm’ so to speak. A person of ‘color’, though I am not fond of that term, is most often seen as nefarious as is the undercurrent conversation that white is ‘good’ the rest less. White privilege is a mindfulness conversation that the black community is still rising and facing the undercurrent deeply ingrained negative conversations and views of the black community that came from slave times into times of Jim Crow and the poverty of this and residuals in modern society. White privilege is a mindfulness conversation for us as a society to be aware of all of this and to be conscious of this instead of project blanket views of black people are lazy, evil, violent, nefarious and less than. It’s about dispelling misconceptions and hatred rather than fuel it.

Now this is what white privilege is not: It is not about ‘white people are evil’ or ‘the root of all violence throughout time’. It’s not about superiority/inferiority. It’s not about shaming white people, the whole point is pull shame out of black community not project more shame into the world. White privilege is not about white people hating themselves, no one should hate them self. It’s not about blaming generations of white people for being white. To me those conversations actually cloud the experience and voices of the black community, not highlight. When everyone is considered a NeoNazi, ‘Neo Nazi’ means nothing. I find such implicatons dangerous as it minimizes actual racial violence. To me the white privilege conversation is about all of us being mindful, it’s not an action, it’s simply a mindfulness. If action is inspired & authentic cool if not cool, it’s simply about awareness. If there is an action being requested, people hear requests that are not shame laden but rather fueled by inspiration and call to community and unity. However, to say there is a need for action  & shame those who do not, rather than support those who do, and to not lead by inspiration to me affects those who rely on their voices being heard the most. I would rather support the black community than hurt the black community.

Any conversation of white privilege that is fueled with hatred and division to me is not the conversation of white privilege but rather ‘white privilege’ being used as a banner to be hateful as any activism can be. The main conversation of white privilege right now I am seeing is fueling hatred and division and I cannot abide by that. To me the conversation of white privilege is about opening listening of the black experience in community and view point, as an expansion in human connection rather than restriction. It’s about awareness, mindfulness, understanding and inspiring human connection. My experience as an AfroLatina is different than a Caucasian in America and that is a fact. To deny that I would be bypassing reality. I also realized I do not need to use it to hurt myself- as I used to- rather I allow it to fuel my inspiration. Every experience in life is different, it just is, we are all different. I also know that what I am saying may never be understood. I no longer need it to be. I am not reliant on understanding to live a life of thriving.  As long as I am aware of the reality of white privilege and do not use it to fuel self loathing or resentment or division or a interpret it as a wall of self limitation, rather simply as an awareness and a practice of compassion.

What do I want to see? What conversations do I want to support in the Black/Latino community as well as all communities? Aliveness! Art! Celebration! Culture! Joy! Play! Love. How? All rooted from authenticity rather than panic to ‘achieve’ or ‘prove’ anything. To slow down and relax enough to allow my actions to be an extenstion of my self care rather than an avoidance of. To me it all comes back to self care, which is prioritized through self love. Celebration of life, celebration the beauty of life that I am a part of and belong to! Simply celebrating the love of being, loving myself is the greatest shift I seek. Self love is an all inclusive conversation. My root is human connection. I allow myself simply to be.