Sexuality In Being

For me, as I’ve shared, my relationship with sexuality is not separate from my self love conversation and experience. When I had the conversation of sexuality as a stand alone conversation, I related with sexuality as something apart from and outside of myself. Sexuality was something I would touch on once in awhile and often from a space of fear not embodiment. And so I actually disconnected to ‘connect’ with my sexuality which fed my sex addiction and other addictions and created unhealthy sexual situations.

Relating with my sexuality as ‘part’ of my being brings me to be with my sexuality not just in relation with others but rather in presence with self. It allows me to establish healthy boundaries with my sexuality in how I relate with it personally and how i relate with my sexuality with others. Which supports distinguishing what is appropriate coming from self care, self love and self respect and what is not with how people are with me and how I am with people. In being present with my own relationship with my sexuality I am able to ask myself the very important question of, am I respecting people’s boundaries too?

Knowing now that sexuality is not separate from my being, it allows me to receive all that I am and celebrate all that I am while also being mindful of how I relate with my sexuality and how I relate with people in the world. Also, not hiding myself from my sexuality when I am not in relationship. After all I cannot hide from my sexuality as it is present in my being.

Photo by Chris S.



Sexual Shame Parading as ‘Sexual Empowerment’

This is a topic that comes up for me frequently as it is a facade that irks me deeply. The lie that sexual shame, sexual addiction, is ‘sexual empowerment’. If there were no sexual shame, there would not be such a drive to be so disconnected and intoxicated during sexual activity. Again, as I said in my last article, alcohol is not the only way to disconnect.

Why would we feel the need to drink so heavily before becoming sexually intimate? For me there had to be sexual shame present for me to want to disconnect. I had to prove myself as someone ‘sexy’ because I felt so much shame about my sexuality instead of seeing sexy is something innate. However, I was not aware it was in fact sexual shame that was part of keeping my sexual addiction in place.

Being connected with my sexual energy, aware of it, conscious of it, present with it, allowed me to receive my sexual energy as simply a part of me. A beautiful part of my expression, my passion, my grounding my creativity. Not just relating to my sexuality during sex, rather relating to my sexualty as me and an important part of my life and expression . Rather than treat my sexual energy as something that needed to be repressed to the point I would disconnect from my sexual energy and pretend that was ‘sexual empowerment’, I have instead learned to love myself. I can now celebrate my sexuality as a beautiful part of my being, expression, art. I’ve learned to love my body, my being, my imperfections, my issues, my grace, my sorrows, my joys, my insecurities, my confidence. I’ve learned to love that even when I forget to love myself, I follow my own breadcrumbs of self care back to self love. I have learned to see myself as love and it doesn’t really need a title for me of ‘sexual empowerment’ it’s just all inclusive to me as self love.

Choosing to celebrate life

I’m finding celebrating life is a consistent choosing of it. It’s not an arrival, not based on perfection, it is a choice for me. Emotions come up and I feel them. Then I come back to choosing what I want to experience. I choose to let go of any illusioned anchors of knowing what will happen in the future and trust the adventure of the unknown. For me this brings me back to savoring my now. In the now for me is celebration.
What does celebrating life look like for you?

My first eBook ‘100 Days of Loving Men’

Morning everyone. I am self-publishing my first eBook titled ‘100 Days of Loving Men’.

This journey began as healing my relationship with my father whom I have never met and shifted to me changing my perception of half the planet: men. ┬áHealing my perception/relationship with men and in this healing my relationship with self I began re-entering community. I faced and face many personal blindspots I didn’t know I had about men and myself. In this softened, opened my heart, found freedom and my voice. In healing my relationship with men, men opened me in healing my relationship with women.

Publish date TBA.


What happens when the soul screams past its skin
When it cannot be contained any longer
Not by paradigms
Not by fantastical declarations of never.
There are no rules to the dance my body craves
Whirling across the floor
Spasming in position
Elbows pushing aside restrictions
The gelatin orb can only expand
It gives
It has to.
I said so.
Fists to floor body explodes
Hair flings around in wild madness
Abandoning every should of movement
I don’t care this is how I
Every tribe rushing through me
Every old song care
Dance turns to possession
Every move powerfully nonsensical
Kicks slides twirls leaps
Neck as liquid
Chest pumps rhythm
Forgotten dimensions thump in my blood
It was the drums that reminded me
Now I am unleashed.
No pretty cage can beckon me back with laquered whispers
Kisses straight from beyond the door of space
I remember
All glowing golden white yet many colors of the rainbow
And colors beyond what I can know and name in my human form
This feeling eternally humming
Waiting for my remembering
I celebrate it
Touch it
Recklessly twisting my form in every way I am called
Beyond the always
Into Creator
wild woman dancing

Day 29 of 100 Days of Loving and Celebrating Being

Brotherhood and Sisterhood Meet

There is something very sacred about the brotherhood of men and the sisterhood of women. I am inclusive of my Trans and Intersex brothers and sisters. There is a beautiful exchange between men that is uniquely between men in ways I can feel and connect with yet could never fully know and have been honored to witness.

As there is a uniquely beautiful exchange between women that we known deeply in ways that can be felt and connected with yet only fully known by woman.

In these differences there is a union. The sacred union within as we all are feminine and masculine and the two are not separate. There are moments where the connection between man and woman is such a meld that we can fully enter each others worlds for moments. Where we feel what it is through empathic connection to be the ‘other’.

Sisterhood with basis of loving self and celebrating, honoring, loving men, meeting Brotherhood with basis of loving self, and celebrating, honoring loving women, reminds the wholeness of who we are internally inherently.

In my wholeness I love and celebrate men, as in my wholeness I love and celebrate women, as I receive being loved and celebrated as a woman, as this is all within me and I deprive myself of no part of me.

I celebrate Brotherhood as I celebrate Sisterhood. I imagine them meeting in the desert each in their own space with their own fire. I see myself looking from the rocks watching the Brotherhood in their dance, sounds, song in this ancient connection with themselves as man. I see this same with the women in sound, song, dance in this ancient connection with themselves as woman. This deep grounded connect embodied then both connecting among one fire, releasing the line and feeling themselves as both feminine and masculine. Celebration of oneness.

Brotherhood and Sisterhood meet within me. Sacred Union. Harmony.


Yin and yang symbol (Digital Enhancement)

Day 22 of 100 Days of Loving and Celebrating Being

Personal Power

I was in inquiry of what the difference between personal power and egoic force was yesterday. I got so clear from higher self/Source if it’s from love it’s personal power, if it’s not love, it’s not personal power. Being able to be in my personal power is a practice. I get to learn more each time conflict comes up and many times with support in this, I get to see what my personal power is.

I get to see what I stand for. What I really have the commitment to be my word with. I get to be gentle with myself if I fail to show up the way I aim to and I get to own how I have shown up. Every step I learn. I’ve let go of the drive, the goal and put my heart, authenticity and fun as forefront. It’s brought excitement to my every day as I live in possibility.