Unhooking From The Violence Of Victim Narratives

Sometimes we can get so hooked on victim narratives that we enroll others in victim narratives. In comes the savior to destroy, even those who are benign. When we are in a blind ‘justified’ rage we cut even those who are aligned with us and even those who love us. Is it worth it? For what? The rush of feeling righteous anger? Righteous anger is important, yes, it has its place to challenge blindspots. Yet when it is activated from the space of the ‘savior’ archetype we have a duty to be mindful that this is happening. Or we will find our loved ones in the fallout. The ‘savior’ is a hiding mechanism, I would rather share awareness and open conversation with the intent of living in possibility.
When justified righteous rage is misused and abused for faulty purposes, or to support our hateful stories of each other, even stories we are ‘so sure are true’, what are we really seeking? What drives this shadow tribalism to protect even at the expense of our relationship with people? Tribalism to me is powerful in that it creates community, there are times when yes protection is necessary, it creates a functioning society and interdependence and more. Yet tribalism has a shadow side as well that fosters codependence, violent independence, destroys human connection, feeds paranoia and so forth. The shadow side of tribalism begs consciousness.
What drives this desire to ostracize as punishment and to dominate? When I ask myself this what comes up for me is pain. There is deep unmet pain there and often times fear of loss. In that sense, the rage can be an avoidance and in this, the rage can be an addiction, chasing a high to not face reality. Again, there are times where rage is vital and anger can be a beautifully powerful and important ‘No’ to injustice. I would never shun anger and rage as it is powerful and necessary in the stand for clarity, love and human connection. While I do not limit anger as the only way of communication, I honor it as one of the many important ways to create a clearing for change.
And there are times when rage and anger are misused to hide rather than break free. To restrict rather than expand. To silence rather than challenge. To keep from having a relationship with pain and fear that is calling me to accept and love myself.
I know I have work to do on this and making this distinction for myself between righteous anger with the purpose of expansion of possibility and the setting of necessary boundaries versus anger used to hide, restrict and kill off possibility.
Are you conscientious to be mindful when anger is authentic or do you hurt those you love to stand in your addiction to rage and avoidance of pain? I don’t do physical violence, I keep my hands to myself and personally, I don’t think I can ever be so conscious as to never emotionally hurt anyone ever in my life. That’s not humanly possible and that is just another mechanism to hide aka perfectionism. What I can do is my own work to face the abuser in me and support my own health by being aware of when I misuse the sacred emotion of anger.
I can be gentle and kind to myself and compassionate with myself with awareness to see when the rage is guiding me to hold my inner child with tenderness. When my anger is a call to love myself relentlessly and challenge any stories I hold that tell me I cannot, that tell me I am not worth it. I can hold myself as sacred and precious and acknowledge I am doing my best always to come from my heart. I can be aware when I falter, and get up and try again. Which is life’s practice, which is why I am here, to remember who I am. To remember I am love.
I choose to do my work to unhook from the violence of victim narratives and stand in my self responsibility of self love, self care, self compassion and self tenderness. The way I learn to hold myself with care, is the way I learn to listen to you. The most powerful form of activism is self love and the most powerful form advocacy is self care. This is the root of change, starting with doing the work within me as I am a part of the whole. Community begins to heal with the work of one.


I do not believe in female supremacy because I DO stand for equality. Supremacy cannot exist without a basis of inferiority. I do not see myself as inferior to men, rather I see men as my fellow human beings. Not above, nor below. Together.


Cultivating Awareness

Not succeeding at something I realized my habit is to make that wrong. Making wrong is fine too and being present with feeling the loss. Yet something is actually there where I once perceived simply a lack. When I do not succeed, or when I gave up where I could have moved forward, I am not left with simply a loss. I am left with an awareness. In my ‘lack’, in my ‘loss’, in my failures, I cultivate awareness.



The matrix was created by replacing the alchemical fire with a synthetic substitute. One that lulls a being into unconsciousness. This substitute is created to try and replicate the euphoria of consciousness with the fake high of addiction. The root of every addiction is the primary addiction to inauthenticity. Every addiction falls under that umbrella. Inauthenticity is the gatekeeper of unconsciousness.
There is nothing wrong with unconsciousness, it is not bad, nor is it good. It is also not a goal. It is a system created by the focus of survival on this plane of existence. The first way of connecting the infinite with the ephemeral. In that, it serves its purpose. Yet, when it is glorified as a goal, the disconnect is fed. The aliveness of human being left dormant.
It is awareness that makes the dreamer awake in its own dream. The dreamer activates and shifts its dream to conscious actions simply by the practice of looking at one’s hands. By conscious action in unconscious state, the dreamer begins to remember their personal power. The dreamer realizes they are dreaming. The illusion of powerlessness in the dream, is pierced by the remembering of where and who the being is. That the being is not an it, the being is embodiment of Source. The being is Love.
The illusion of disconnect from God cannot survive the awareness of connection with God. Awake in the dream, the dreamer consciously creates. The dreamer aware of the unconscious starts to see value during the dream and the beings power of choice to create. This doesn’t always happen. Sometimes the dream is to be experienced as a dream. When dreamer awakens, the shock of the shift can leave one in inquiry. Dreamer mulls over the lucidity of each journey in each dream and soon finds value of each illusion. Being also knows dreaming will come again. The matrix becomes a net of visiting, not a place of dwelling. It calls for consciousness, as all unconsciousness ultimately does, and hopes one answers the call and does not become enamored with the matrix itself.
Everything wants to return to remembering connection with God. As everything is God in journey, exploring, remembering.

Day 2 of Loving and Celebrating Being

Loving and Celebrating Being as my foundation.

To me loving and celebrating being is vital for my foundation. There are many times when this is an action and I am finding also many times it isn’t an action at all, just a presence.

This is all fresh exploration for me so I am expressing as this journey comes present for me.

I started the videos 17 weeks ago. I began to explore the idea of this before my videos. This is my experience of loving and celebrating my own being. This experience has supported my self kindness in a big way. I get to keep opening to the love I am. I now experience myself as the greatest adventure.

My hope is this inspires others to see themselves as their own greatest adventure! As I remember myself, I want to be a part of the conversation that reminds we are all beautiful, worthy, whole and love right now in this moment.

From such a foundation the creative genius that is being gets to fully self express and we bloom. Yes, we are all creative geniuses and that looks different for each. Authentically creative genius can look like a mathematician, an electrician, a bus driver, a painter, a performer, an athlete and so forth. Everyone’s creative genius is unique and that is what the world craves, the full expression of our being.

Loving and celebrating being, can you imagine if everyone had this foundation? Absolutely felt the beauty they are? This moves me. I gift myself this as I love and celebrate my being.



Day 100 of 100 Days of Loving Men

Day 100 of Loving Men

Shine your heart

In all of the wonder of how to be, how to connect with men there is nothing to do but be the love you are and listen with an open heart. Shine your heart, shine your love, and be kind to you. In inner kindness the love can only pour forward onto the men in your lives. It starts within. Love you, care for you, the love will be unstoppable for all those around you.

For me in self love and self kindness I am before a woman, before I’m Black and Latina, before I am an age, or sexual orientation, I am a human. My fellow humans are a part of me. Men are a part of me. In loving men I find kindness to myself. There is no wall between me and men except for the one I made up with old ways of being. I am not perfect, that is not my claim. I am perfectly imperfect in the adventure of me. I choose to keep listening, keep loving

Thank you for reading 100 Days of Loving Men! That you’ve come this far in reading shows an awareness that took me decades to recognize. My hope is that it brought some love in your life and the sight that you are the love in your life.

We are all connected. We have the power of choice and voice. How we choose to use that power is up to each of us as an individual.

Stay tuned! I will begin my next series of 100 Days:

100 Days of Loving and Celebrating Being

Thank you for reading xoxox

~We Rise, We Rise Together.