Y así vamos

Montada encima de un elefanteQue me guía en el paseo abierto especialmente para mí 

Con fe me dejo llevar hasta el final de mi alma que suplica mi sonrisa 

Monto de luto de lo que no puedo ver 

Arrojar todo lo que no está destinado a ser 

Y todo lo que ha cambiado su presencia 

Todo por el bien de libertad

Siento mi ser se eleva, siento mis dolores de corazón en su tramo,

Come mi corazón se expande al amor

Pido a mis guías que me mostra

Pido su ayuda

Siento el campo abierto delante de mí

Y así vamos 

Riding on the back of an Elephant

Who guides me onto path opened especially for me

With faith I let myself be taken until the end of my soul which begs my smile

I ride in mourning of all I cannot see

Releasing all that is not meant to be

And all that has shifted its presence

All for the sake of liberty

I feel my being rise, I feel the aches of my heart as it stretches,

As it expands for love

I pray to my guides to show me

I ask for their help

I feel the open field before me

And so we go

Writing by me

Photo by unknown, black and white modification by me

In the echoes of the rose
Holds the only sound benign
Fractured moments
Along the ache of the spine
Wilderness easing breath between vertebrae
Jungle child setting sight through textured cement
Firm ledge with soft glow
Reveling leaves cupping life 🍃
Civilization isn’t all its cracked up to be
Kristal D. Garcia

When there is an upset I’m starting to look, what is it here that I need to experience? What is calling me from my past to be seen to heal? What old patterns are dying off? My body is lit up like a Christmas tree. I must need to experience being punished by removal of love for sharing my needs, for being a stand for someone’s greatness for being a stand for my own greatness. I’m not diminishing my stand this time. I’m not going to mouse away into a corner and people please and say ‘oh it’s OK’ like I’ve done many, many times before in fear of losing love. I am love. I am whole. I cannot lose love. I will be a stand. If the illusion I need to experience is ‘losing love’ I accept. If the illusion I need to experience is being made wrong for standing for my needs I accept. For saying I matter, for saying I want to have say in co-created situations and relationships, I accept. I will not cower from my greatness and I will not cower from another’s. I’ve become too aware to go backwards. I will not leave, I will be here. I will stand. Even as my body shakes in fear, even though the anger quakes that my tears hide behind. I will not flinch from my ground. I know my stand and I will not bow to smallness again. With love, I completely accept being misunderstood and dragged through the mud if needed. I stand unscathed even in the quake as I know my heart is true and I will not give in. I now stand in and know I am worth being heard, I’m worth workable communication that works for both people which includes what works for me too. I know I come from love and I hear me. I have space for my needs and my needs matter. I give, I am giving to other people’s needs they matter to me, I’m now giving myself that gift. I must need to experience right now what it feels like to be a stand for my needs and not people please nor accept being made wrong, nor accept that is who that person truly is as it is just their machine and underneath that facade is a being of love as we are all love. I stay standing in love, if the storm subsides, I will be here. If not, I accept. I am done being silent in fear of another’s upset. I trust the upset as I stand in integrity with myself. I’m learning ‘I love you’ doesn’t mean I will accept everything as ‘OK’ even when I feel in my body something is not right. It’s OK for me to use my voice. I accept this discomfort as I teach myself this. I surrender, allow and accept.