Me speaking up about the impact of feminism in relationships between men and women over the past over 100 years is not ‘antifeminist’. I am not an ‘antifeminst’. I’m a Human Rights activist who doesn’t stick their head in the sand.
I’m not saying ‘down with feminism’ just like I would not say ‘down with the men’s rights movement’. In supporting women’s rights, I support anyone being involved in that conversation regardless of how they identify. In supporting men’s rights, the same. Just because I am not a part of the feminist movement does not mean I do not acknowledge the impact it has had over the past 100 years, both positive and negative.
Like it or not feminism has been the main driving force in the women’s rights conversation. That’s a fact. I cannot pretend that is not a fact. Feminism has also been one of the main driving forces in the conversations between men and women as well, I can also not deny that face. There are many other factors to this absolutely, and to deny feminism has had a massive major impact in this would also be a farce.
Absolutely feminism has had a negative impact in the relationships between men and women. To say otherwise is to pretend the conversations of feminism has been benign. It has not. From it’s very origins with the suffragettes and suffragists, the origins of feminism was actually based on a hatred for the black culture, with a focus on the black man. I have written about this before and feel the need to revisit.
The ONLY reason the suffragettes were born was because an elitst group of white women were in rage over the Black man earning his privilege to vote. Susan B Anthony was an absolute racist. The suffragettes were aligned with the KKK and getting support from the KKK because their platform was to not let the Black man stand in his strength. The suffragettes were the more radicals who absolutely did not want anything to do with men nor work with men. The suffragists wanted to work with men and have rational discussion. The factions did not always get along. Regardless, there was deep racism in both. There were suffragists and suffragettes who were not a part of this, however, they were not met kindly. Especially -my heroine- the suffragist Ida B. Wells who was a powerful Black woman who could give a care less about the threats on her life, she saw what the suffragettes and suffragists were aligned with the KKK. Here she was seeing Jim Crow in action and watching the horrors enacted on Black men and women, the lynchings the rapings the brutalizations and dehumanizations, all while the suffragettes/suffragists went to the brutalizers- the KKK – and sat there with them getting funds from them.
Also the virtue signaling lie of ‘women didn’t have the right to vote’. First, voting is not a ‘right’ it is a privilege. Next, what women? The women who came forward were rich white eltisit women who didn’t even care about all white women. Many were WKKK -Women Of The KKK- who supported white women of poverty and white ‘promiscuous women’ being used as fodder for the KKK rape gangs. All women who were not part of their white elitist group were up for grabs. You call that women’s rights? Also, Native Americans did not receive the privilege to vote until the 1940s, not a peep from the suffragettes, Asian women could not vote either nor men. And the suffragettes/suffragists used black women and white women of poverty to increase their numbers. As soon as the privilege called ‘the right to vote’ went through the two factions of suffragettes that had been in opposition together banded
Do not tell me feminism is benign. Do not tell me the history of feminism is some fantasy of wonderful. It is not, it has never been. Including the conversation of patriarchy theory which was the thought child of a white woman during the times of the Civil Rights Movement and is so disconnected to even dream of ‘patriarchy theory’ while Black men were fighting to be treated as human beings. Men of all ethnicity – White, Asian, Native American, Indian and more -were all going to war and dying for the safety of women and many were still not able to have the privilege to vote because they were not considered old enough to. Enough with the virtue signaling and shaming of ‘women couldn’t vote’. That’s not teh full conversation and so it is dishonest. Also, widows with property were able to vote at a time where men without property were not.
The impact of patriarchy theory has been devastating in the ways we as a society have decided to scapegoat men and project all of our issues onto men. All the ills of the world and feel justified. Patriarchy theory has also created a massive divide in Black women and Black men standing together. Feminism never stood for the Black community. It just didn’t. To the point that Black women decided to give ‘Black Feminism’ a try in desire to rectifiy the situation.
So, if you are going to come to me virtue signaling about feminism I will kindly tell you- you are completely ignorant on the subject. I was a feminist for 13 years. Speaking the facts about feminist history and speaking up about what does not work when it impacts the human rights conversation is vital. If you really do believe in feminism, then you will recognize it can only evolve as a movement with critique. And I’m not holding my breath.
I stand with the human rights conversations themselves and believe we can all work together in them regardless of how we identify. In order to do that we must first be honest about the impact of feminism and ‘patriarchy theory’ in the conversations we have about men and how they have impacted the present atmosphere which flippantly supports hateful and hurtful conversations on half the planet -men and boys. I believe we as people can remember our natural state which is united community. Not to be confused with absolute agreement which is not feesible nor desireable. Disagreements are not wrong, it is who we are in the disagreements that make a difference. I absoulutely believe that moving from survival systems to thriving systems is possible and actually even unavoidable. That must take honesty about the impact of our conversations including our conversations on men.
Without this check in with reality, nothing shifts.