Everything screaming shut down
give up
close up
soldier up
armor up
weld up
but I can’t
I can’t close my heart
I won’t.
I’d rather feel the pain
So I do.
And it fucking hurts.
Knocks me to the ground.
I can’t move under the weight of numbness
sounds of faucet in the background, abandoned alive
it takes everything I don’t have to get up
shut off the faucet
and keep going.
this ache in my chest reminding me I have a heart
A heart I will not ignore
Nor chastise
one loyal to my breath
and I am loyal to it
I trust because I am
Nothing can keep me from that
Not even myself.
I choose to live with my heart open.
I accept whatever that means.

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