I have been getting present to the inquiry, what am I really committed to? I have a story which runs in the background of my life. It’s called ‘I’m messed up’. When I am committed to coming from what is possible in my life I get to see when my story of ‘I’m messed up’ is showing up. I get to stop and be present to it and choose. I get to see when I am starting to operate from childhood fears of abandonment, stories of lack and when I am stepping outside of self care and self love.
There is nothing wrong with the existence of the story ‘I’m messed up’. It’s part of my humanity and it will be there. What is so great is awareness of it. I don’t need to go to war with it, try to eradicate it, make it wrong. It’s just a story. It is a survival story that pops up in life and tries to keep it safe. It’s purpose is survival. It is not who I am, it is in itself a system.
I know this system is not me, that’s not who I am, and I am aware it is part of how I operate as a human being. It will always be there, and, with awareness I learn each time how to get present to it and instead of operating from that story, choose to step into coming from sovereignty, trust and self love.
Every part of myself, even survival systems, seek to be accepted. It’s in self acceptance and embracement of who I am that I am kind to myself and learn how to love all of me. That I release a little bit each time the illusion of division within myself. I am not separate from any part of me. All of it is calling me to love myself.
So, what am I committed to? I am committed to being tender with myself. I am committed to self forgiveness. I am committed to choosing joy, relaxation and trust. When I recommitt to these things I get to be present to my ‘I’m messed up story’, allow it, and choose who I truly am- wholeness- instead of the system.