The Return of Femininity:
As most of you know, I run the page The Return of Femininity. I originally created this page from a place of arrogance. To tell other women how to be. From a place of dominance in that I felt I had the answers to how women needed to act in order to create balance in what I perceive as imbalance which is really a human created illusion.
I was being a jerk when I first started this page, I own it. And I’m glad I was bold enough to create, in this creation I’ve been able to grow.
It then evolved as I grew with this page. For me, my own experience with femininity mostly originated in the past years [for those who have been with me from the beginning some of this will be repeat, bear with me and thank you for being with me from origin, I appreciate you].
In my 20’s I was still so disconnected with my feminine I felt like a woman in drag dressed as a woman. It wasn’t until 7 years ago that I started to play with femininity, what it meant, what I felt it looked like to be feminine.
I’m still in this play as I open my view to balance, soften into my own feminine. We all have feminine and masculine within. Feminine does not mean woman and masculine does not mean man. It is predominant, however, that we do associate each as the embodiment of either. Feminine energy we generally associate with female and masculine energy with male. There is nothing wrong with this association it is fine, until it is not.
Inside there is a balance the cocreation of masculine and feminine that is inherently in balance. They have to be, life itself is proof of their peaceful cohabitation. It’s individual human perception that creates the illusion of divide and division creates war and silence. I say illusion because the perception of division is not a reality. Perception of said illusion is born of personal blindness within, born of reaction to personal experience.
My perception has predominantly been of the masculine. In me masculine is order, feminine is chaos. Chaos has such connotation of danger for me not talking about women, talking feminine energy itself. I also grew up in this belief that feminine is weak. In order to be a strong woman I must be connected only with the masculine in me. Yet in the same breath the belief that masculine is destructive.
Is it no wonder I could not open to the balance inherent within myself? In these beliefs there is no space for holding the masculine nor feminine as sacred. In his perception there is only division inside, illusion of inner war.
Masculine energy is powerful foundation of survival- order, purpose. Feminine energy is powerful foundation of flourish-chaos. Both hold innovation, purpose and chaos and only together create life. Again this is just my view within myself how they show up within me and in my perception in life. If feminine is treated as the only there can not be a healthy society, just as if masculine is treated as only.
In my opening to see my own innate balance of inner masculine and feminine I’ve started to see the power of the feminine. Now let me be clear, not domination of the feminine, there is no power in domination. Nor subjugation, to be so small as to comply so that my spirit is broken. No. Neither is healthy, neither will do.To hold the feminine as ‘the way’ is not my way, not interested.
What I speak of is the real beauty of chaos, of melting into my full being and connecting with the feminine. Letting go of my judgments of the feminine as frivolous, wayward, weak, etc. Instead opening to embrace femininity as a beautiful powerful part of being.
After all, these archetypes are me. I can push any part of me into my shadow and shackle it, sure. And I will find myself never able to walk through the door free with my ankle chained to the wall.
I can project onto man/woman, my own inner war, I can do that I am human I hold the capacity. Or, I can embrace I am these energies within myself.
If I hold harm to men I am not honoring the masculine within me and killing off a part of me, holding myself captive to my own chagrin. To hold distaste for men is only a reflection of where I have not accepted myself.
If I hold harm to women, I have distrusted my own femininity, disregarded her necessity, made a part of myself out to be useless. It is just a reflection of where I have not allowed myself to be received.
Most powerful of all is embracement I am both energies. And recognition I am above all, human with a spirit center that drives the suit.
Here I celebrate return of femininity within and in my daily consciousness. Not that femininity ever left or is missing in life or in me, that my own perception has blocked her out. I’m no longer coming from a place of fixing, now I’m in adventure. And expressing my adventure as I am and receiving adventure in this exchange of femininity.
To those in my life of all genders and sexes whose femininity continues to leave me in awe, I’m grateful. I am being shown in my life indirectly how to see and be with this energy and oh it is powerful. Has left me in awe as masculine energy has left me in awe, just in different ways, equally as powerful.
Both required for life. Both required for aliveness. Both within the fertile experience of being.
*I also hold the page ‘Loving and Celebrating Men’.