Day 88 of Loving Men
Whew, another big one. In vulnerability, shame comes present. Rocked me to my knees. And without vulnerability, there is no freedom, no love, no joy.
I tell myself I’m not deserving of the love in my life, not worthy of speaking. The stories tell me to just shut down and shut up.
However, when I do that, I’m keeping love from myself and those in my life including the man I love. To shut down and shut up means I’m withholding love.
To guard myself from vulnerability is not safe, it’s reckless. The opposite of self care. To guard myself I stay prisoner to my shame. In a cage of unworthy.
I have faced my shame. I have opened wounds of my past and brought them into view. I am being honest with myself. I locked myself away feeling unworthy. Shame became an addiction, a habit I didn’t even know I had. And it kept me disconnected.
Now I know when shame is there, it’s time for me to look within and free myself instead of shutting myself down and shutting myself up. I choose to share my love.
*I really recommend the videos I shared on this page by Brene Brown on Vulnerability and Shame