Day 81 of Loving Men
Releasing self inflicted ‘right’
The interesting bit about being ‘right’ is what a slave to ‘right’ one can become. It may have seemingly wonderful outcomes at times, but are the outcomes truly as wonderful as first thought? There can be a high from being ‘right’ as there is no battle that can’t be won and the warrior is fed. But what does the warrior bring?
For instance, I shared on Day 74 ‘Heal Relationship with Father’ that I had decided to be ‘right’ about how ‘wrong’ men were. This created a lot of pain in my life and perpetuated pain in others lives. I didn’t feel safe, not within me nor in the world and I was at war, with half of the planet no less.
I was self inflicting ‘right’ into my life by holding onto my pain story(ies) about men. When I released that self inflicted ‘right’ I gained healing of a wound that I thought would never heal. I opened my listening and began to receive men as individuals, my brothers, my human kin, my community.
One of the most precious parts of this healing for me is my Beloved showing up in my life. Without such a healing I could have never received the incredible man that is in my life and the beautiful love that he is. He inspires my passion and tenderness in a very big way as I receive the passion and tenderness that he is in being. He is the fire of my hearth.
What is more important? Being ‘right’ about a pain story? Or being free?