Day 70 of 100 Days of Loving Men

Make the commitment to be a healthy partner.

Have you made the conscious commitment of being a healthy partner to the man in your life? If so, congrats. If not, the perfect time to start is now. Day 69 holds a very important practice and this along with the commitment to being healthy to your loved one is a great way to start on a healthy path of being.

What I would love to see is this awareness being shared with women. Instead of creating and supporting lists of what men ‘should’ be, support women making the commitment to be a healthy partner.

It’s not ‘a man’s job to [insert demands]’. How about this, men get to be and be loved for being.

Instead of dissecting said partner, embrace him, fully. In order to be a healthy partner with him, you must be a healthy partner with yourself. If you find yourself dissecting the man in your life seeking where he must meet the list of demands, chances are, you’re doing the same thing with yourself.

If this is so, where are  you being too hard on yourself? What list of unreasonable demands are you placing on you and then projecting onto the man you love?

Now, each person processes differently. So, If you can’t yet see where you’re being hard on you, then start with being gentle with the man you love and let the love you give him reflect into where you need to love yourself too.

There is a saying ‘Love is never the problem’. What that means if there is a problem, it’s never love. The love in the relationship is there, the problem that arises is based on painful past or fearful future. Both painful past and fearful future are stories, thoughts that arise based on either that create disruption in relating.

Painful past and fearful future are part of dysfunctional loop that I discuss on Day 69. There’s nothing wrong with the past coming up and we’re human, we do go into the future and have concerns. When it becomes a dysfunction is when it’s used to abuse and used to justify abuse that is when it’s vital to remember the commitment to being a healthy partner. When painful past, fearful future are brought into the relationship, that’s where the upsets arise. Commitment to being a healthy partner means being aware and slowing down to recognize old destructive patterns and be still when they come up.

Making the commitment to being a healthy partner is a beautiful step and it takes the work to uphold the commitment. Remember ‘love is never the problem’. If there is a problem it is painful past and fearful future- old stories of hurt, and made up stories lead by fear.

I commend you in making the commitment to being a healthy partner with the man you love. Your life and relationship is about to shift into being healthy ecstatic and bliss-filled. Congrats! Now, that is what I wish to support in present and future generations of women,  love and life of ecstasy and bliss. The beauty is in commitment to healthy partnership, let go of the list and embrace your heart and love him in his being.

To take this commitment to being healthy into all relationships including friendships, daily interactions, will be life changing. No, it’s not going to look perfect and yes, there will be mistakes. Just be sure not to dismiss mistakes as ‘meh, ah well’ instead sit with them and take the deep lesson so as to not repeat them. With the basis of being committed to being a healthy partner, you will succeed. Your word is your world. If you say you are committed to being a healthy partner, you will be it.

So- be it.

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