I watch in awe

I’ve been in this process many times myself

I dance with this process many times myself

I laugh as I egress this process many times with myself

There is joy in the aftermath of sadomasochistic awakening

Eroticism lingering in this savory chaos when embraced

choked, knocked around, pulled screaming across the floor

smacking, biting, punching back, wrestling, pinning, dominating

there is no winning though I scream ‘I won’, it’s a playful illusion

there is no losing though I scream ‘I give up’, it’s a ripping surrender

I love it though at times I chide and hate it, the chiding and ‘hating’ of it is all part of the process, all part of the beautiful faux struggle as I give in, as I embrace my love core

I kiss myself with my heart

with fire, with body numbing ice, with silk across skin, with generous touch, receiving life in moans, celebrating in clarity

 and I am in awe

as I watch the many times this embracement is offered to others

the many times this process is shared as ‘god, you can enjoy even the deepest feelings of suck’

the many times this awareness is brought forward with bared heart, tools offered in loving hands with those of flaming eyes who growl their stand for ecstatic bliss for the individual, the one who is screaming, crawling, scratching begging for it

Only to watch that very one knock it out of the hands of the offerer

spit on it when it’s on the floor

mock the bringer for offering what they are searching for

I watch in awe as these people drag themselves around wailing

their diapers filled with shit as they wonder why their ass hurts.

I am fascinated.

Kristal D. Garcia


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