Day 62 of 100 Days of Loving Men

Stop trying to make men ‘better’ by ‘helping’ them.

Men do not need to be ‘better’ and they don’t need ‘help’. There is a difference between ‘help’ and ‘support’. To ‘help’ someone comes from a place of fixing. As if they need you to correct who they are. No one needs that, men don’t need that. Support comes from a place of acknowledging someone’s needs and being a stand for their needs to be. If you want to support the needs of men that is a different story than coming forward feeling you need to ‘help’ men. Again, men don’t need your help, that is arrogant.

Men don’t need more women saying ‘this is what I think you should do and then you will be who you want to be!’. No. Stop it. Men don’t need to be outside of who they are now. Instead saying ‘who do you want to be?’ come to men with acceptance and knowledge that men are wonderful right NOW. If you can’t accept men for who they are, you are not supporting men with who they are. It is instead telling men they need to change to be seen, heard, loved.

It’s up to men to create what they want, not women to create what they want men to be.

What you can do as a woman is LISTEN. If you want to support men, listen to what men are saying they need. That means being receptive. This means slowing down and also takes letting go of being right. Often when men share what they need women take it personal as men are saying ‘you are wrong’. No, men are simply telling you what they need! You are turning it into a story of you being wrong!

It would be amazing if it weren’t so warped. I have seen so many women shut down their listening of men because what men are saying they need, conflicts with what they think men need coming from their perspective as women! All you are doing is saying ‘you don’t know what you need you men, I’m a woman, I know what you need’. Thus, these women get in the trap of feeling ‘wrong’ then defending their views INSTEAD of listening to the men who are speaking what they need!

It’s awful and it dismisses the voice of men. What ends up happening is these women create a harem of men and sell their story to them that they need fixing. This is the ultimate predator mode. Preying off of the pain of men and selling them a way to ‘fix’ themselves. I know that not all those who do this are conscious of it, I don’t care. It’s not OK and I’m letting you know right here and now. If you can face the reality of what is happening and yes, it’s going to be confronting to you- good! -then you will find how you can really support men. If you refuse to listen and shut down when faced with the reality of what you are doing, then I take your predatory nature as willful. I do not support such ‘practices’ as this that exist under the arrogance of ‘helping’ when in fact they end up just feeding the ‘Queen Bee’ ego.

Men, keep your eye out for this farce. If you are approached by a woman who says she knows how to make you ‘better’ or how she can ‘help’ you, walk away. Only you know what’s best for you, no one can tell you that. If someone wants to support you, they can do so in listening to what YOU need not what they THINK you need.

Coming from ‘helping’ puts this woman on a pedestal as if they know what men need. No, only MEN know what men need. Those who really support men will not say men need ‘help’. Men don’t need ‘help’. Men are perfect just the way men are right NOW.

I’ve noticed there are those who support men and those who think men need to be ‘fixed’ or ‘helped’. Men don’t need fixing nor ‘helping’. Women, if you want to really know what men need, then LISTEN. Pull down your walls and hear men. Don’t just respond, hear them, take it in and self reflect. Stop trying to be right! You’re not! You cannot know what a man needs more than a man! It’s arrogant and quite frankly disrespectful. If you keep on that, you will not be able to hear the wisdom of men.

It’s OK to not be right on everything-go figure! If we were, we would never learn. If being right is more important than listening to men, then you are NOT a stand for men. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to the men around you.

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5 thoughts on “Day 62 of 100 Days of Loving Men

  1. Nostradormouse says:

    Clearly, you get subtlties about Male Experience that most women miss. I wonder how many women are still reading and following you on day 62.

    N

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