Day 46 of 100 Days of advice on how to treat men right in relationship and daily interactions with men.
Let go of the hateful myth that men are ‘more violent’.
This hateful lie is based on the idea that men and their masculinity are dangerous and can at any moment hurt you. Instead of the reality that women also have this capacity. Even broader, human beings are strained in today’s world and are more likely to snap.
By keeping in your mind that men are ‘more violent’ and ‘more prone to violence’ you are dismissing the female criminal. This is not only extremely dangerous it perpetuates the myth that men are more prone to violence.
For instance, Harvard did a study on domestic violence [DV] which found that women and men are equally likely to be responsible for DV violence. However, they also found that in unprovoked cases, women are 70% more likely to be the perpetrators of violence in DV cases:
To continue to say men are ‘more violent’ also creates the excuse that they should suffer even more because they ‘deserve’ it. It’s a very disturbing and dysfunctional thought pattern that horrifically many cling to. This excuses female criminals and abusers.
Women who kill their children have even been given this extreme ‘excuse’:
“WOMEN STILL BELIEVE THEY HAVE SOLE DOMINATION OVER SO LITTLE “PROPERTY”, THAT THE DESTRUCTION AND CONTROL OF SOMETHING THAT IS IN FACT THEIR “PROPERTY” SENDS A POWERFUL MESSAGE ABOUT WHO IS REALLY IN CHARGE…” [the caps are from the original author, not mine]
To deny female criminal behavior and female violence to the point of creating such an insane thought process is terrifying. Those who continue to say ‘men are more violent’ are not saying it so blatantly extreme as this, however, they do have an underlying dismissal of the criminal female and fight hard to dismiss her.
This, in a twisted way, is a way of dismissing women as humans. It makes women out to be infallible and therefore not human but some fantasy of what women are. And that is not respecting women, but instead dismissing the effects women have had on society including criminal women. We all know that humans can be violent, humans can be criminally mentally ill, that humans can be dangerous, this is not a gendered fact, this is a human fact.
To make violence a gender issue is a farce. Humans can be violent. When we create this false statement that violence exists because men exist, well, then you have the radical feminist desire for genocide and the watered down version known as ‘patriarchy’ which is not death to all men, but just keep them incarcerated in their own society with shame, abuse and hampered success.
In order to have healthy relationships with men and co-create healthy human community, you must first relinquish the myth that men are ‘more prone to violence’ and accept that women have and are equally responsible for violence. We stand together against violence as people or we war each other and continue destructive relationships and daily interactions.
The choice is always yours but if you’ve been reading this series of advice, then you are one of the women, men, transgender who is seeking healthy relating with men in daily interactions and/or in partnered relationships. So, to you I share, that this is vital if you are going to fully receive men to lay down the myth that men are just waiting to hurt you and those around you. This is harmful to men and you will find yourself the aggressor towards them if you hold on to this belief that he is ‘deserving’ of abuse because he is inherently an abuser. Emotional abuse is also abuse, even if you are not hitting words can be devastating and the way you speak to him is telling of what your baseline story of men is.
If you are a man reading this it is harmful to you to take on this lie that you are ‘more violent’ simply because you are male. That is just a bigoted lie pushed by anti-male agenda, so it’s a good time to let that go. You are an amazing human being and have individual potential for whatever greatness you want. Your individual potential is accessible to you and if you’ve been told only women have the capacity for greatness that’s just a hateful lie and you don’t have to own that.
So, ladies, do you have potential for greatness? Yes, but do not deny that men do too by saying men are ‘more prone’ to violence. This also hurts young boys out there who are starting to give up due to the shaming in our society telling them in many ways they are the ‘bad’ gender. Be conscious of the stories and myths you cling to. They hurt men and your relating with men. It will also keep you in fear of the world and miserable. Humans of all genders have potential for violence and we also all have potential for greatness.
What are you going to do today to encourage your greatness and receive the greatness of men?