Day 24 of 100 Days on how to treat men right and lead with your heart in relationship and daily interactions with men.
#24 When a man shares his suffering, don’t dismiss it with ‘what about the womenz?’
Far too often I hear a man sharing his deep pain and a women will interject with ‘women are suffering somewhere distant! that’s more important than you ever!’. OK. Maybe they don’t use quite those words, but as soon as they interrupt the man’s sharing with ‘what about the womenz’ that’s what they are doing.
I was reading a thread a couple of weeks back where a man was deeply sharing his pain that he had no choice in being circumcised a woman jumped in with, girls are circumcised too.
Ladies, don’t do that. No one is unaware that women suffer. We’ve concentrated on ONLY the suffering of women for the past several decades highlighted by feminism. Now, we are hearing the side of men so we can get the full story of what is happening to humans. When a man shares his pain he is not dismissing the pain of women and it’s insulting and rude of you to suggest so. It’s also completely dismissive of the pain that man is sharing with you and dismissive of the pain that men suffer.
This is a good time to embrace being silent and not make it about you. This is the man or men sharing their suffering. So, exercise silence, open your heart and listen.
We know that women suffer, no one is denying that and we also need to acknowledge that men suffer very much. To ignore that or shut a man up by coming forward with ‘what about the womenz’ you are being extremely hurtful to men. You may as well be screaming that they don’t matter when you do that.
I hear the mantra ‘men don’t share how they feel’ and I say bullshit. The question is, when men do share their pain, share their rage, fear, can you step outside of yourself long enough to listen?