Dom vs Reckless Supremacist

Q:

“Do you think that sexually submissive men fostered and encouraged, or even brought into existence (and hence bear responsibility for) the female supremacy/superiority movement?”

A:

I don’t support any female supremacy/superiority movement and yes they have indeed joined with feminism which, well, that sums up feminism for you. I would say the fantasy of female supremacy irresponsibly leaking out into society is indeed a problem. Would I say submissive men are at fault for this? I would say they are a part of this. You can’t have a Dom without a sub. However, ultimately it’s a Doms responsibility to have self discipline. That’s not the role of the sub/slave to keep the Dom in check. If a Dom cannot check themselves by keeping their fantasy within the realm of consensual, they are not a true Dom.

There is still a confusion with BDSM that has not been clarified. Female supremacists have absolutely joined in with feminism. That’s a problem.

As a Dom, I see BDSM as a Sacred Sexual Art [Tantric/Spiritual] and learned how to do it with intention of fun and healing. To me, being a Dom is being a teacher. When you choose a teacher you respect that teacher and receive their knowledge and with a Dom, they introduce you to sensations and experiences that you’ve never known or enhance those you do know. This has nothing to do with supremacy/inferiority at all. It has to do with surrender. I know other Doms who are also focusing on helping people have healthy BDSM interactions.

As a submissive, I suggest you seek out these healthy Doms and no longer support the female supremacist movement. You can still have your fantasy play but with those who do will do so in a healthy way who can create the fantasy for you but will also support you as the human being that you are. THAT is vital. This may take some searching, but take your time and get to know what the next Dom you submit to stands for. Yes, interview the Dom. If you need help with this, I have no problem giving you pointers on screening your next Dom. I know that can be intimidating for subs, I will support you in this if you need assistance and always trust your instinct as the final say in order to stay safe.

I don’t believe in female supremacy and in real time I have a very big problem with it. If it’s done in a safe, sane and consensual manner, then it’s fantasy play, and to each their own. I have seen people who do race play who are supremacists who can do so in a healthy way. THAT is a very taboo subject as well but they keep it in a healthy manner. Would we be concerned if they wished to bring this out into society as how everyone should live?? YES! And that is the same concern with what is in action right now regarding female supremacy and feminism.

Those who shame submissives do not understand that it is a personal, private and powerful choice that requires a really deep delving into self. I know, I was a submissive as well for several years. I haven’t written about that part of me quite just yet. Being a submissive is a vital part of learning how to be a Dom. You cannot give what you don’t know. It’s vital to know what paddles, canes, violet wands, etc. feel like in order to apply the appropriate pressure and/or pain level and ensure safety. You don’t give a cane to someone who has never been caned themselves. Absolutely not. The way I teach, everyone needs to learn how to submit first whether they will move into being a Dom, Switch, Sub or Slave. It’s vital. Being a submissive requires a lot of introspection and brings you into experiences that are extremely healing if done with an appropriate Dom.

My hope is to help those who enter BDSM, submissive men/women/trans, make sure they get a Dom who is healthy and above all else safe, sane and consensual in all that they do.

I’ve seen female supremacists online who link BDSM with feminism and that shit needs to stop. They need to be ousted for the abusers they are.

A Dom does not inflict her fantasy on society. That is NOT safe, sane or consensual. That is abuse, manipulation and can be criminal. Any self appraised Dom who does so is NOT a Dom at all. A Dom does not need to feel ‘superior’ that is bullshit. That is NOT a Dom but a bratty little girl playing dress up with big girl clothes and toys and I’ve had it with them. They are not Doms they are reckless supremacists that must be put in their place. I have no problem volunteering to do that.

Any questions feel free to ask, I’m here anyway I can support. No one should ever feel ashamed to be submissive that is a personal choice and part of the choosers authentic sexuality. And being authentic with our sexuality VERY healthy. Shaming of male subs is still shaming of male sexuality. I’m working to also share more about healthy BDSM in the future.

Kristal

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15 thoughts on “Dom vs Reckless Supremacist

  1. From my own experiences I find it interesting that I have met more Dominant female anti-feminists than submissive female anti-feminists. However, I don’t find that to be in the least bit contradictory. Of course, most people are “feminist” at least ostensibly in order to avoid persecution.

    I believe that our corporate, government, and media masters quite deliberately play on our sexuality and subconscious, with feminism being probably the most insidious abuse at that level and “anti-racism” also invoked as a tool of “witch-hunts”.

    It would seem to me that submissive female feminist and Dominant male feminist are the oxymorons in our culture with anti-feminists of all orientations being the more authentic and in touch with their own sexuality and subconscious.

    It is ironic how many feminists of all orientations do not believe that I as a woman in my 50’s have the maturity and wherewithal to make my own sexual and relationship dynamic choices as such that I require Feminism to be my matchmaker and pimp. I prefer having the more rational, stronger, and more productive member of my relationship “in charge” and that my own female sacred-ness is perversely strengthened by service and humiliation to the masculine. That’s not the one-true-way it is my way and what could be more “empowered” than knowing my way? That doesn’t stop the hate mail however from feminist submissive men attempting to co-opt me into their gynocracy (please see http://gynocentrism.com) using words of saccharine chivalry. Of course, finding a good Dom is a tremendous challenge, but my choice isn’t negotiable. I’d be delighted to refer such white knights to you but suspect that it wouldn’t be doing you a favor. Relying on shaming and manipulation isn’t terribly submissive in my view.

  2. Reblogged this on Gynocentrism and its cultural origins and commented:
    The following article provides a useful differentiation between female domination, and female supremacy. Gynocentric culture is a mixture of these two things and, from my perspective at least, female sexual domination lends itself to a transmogrification into female supremacy – ie. a little power leads to absolute power by dint of the power urge in human nature.

  3. Reblogged.

    The above is a really useful differentiation between female dominance and female supremacy – although the former lends itself to growth of the latter.

    Great piece. 🙂

    • Thank you! 🙂 And female dominance does not need to be based on female supremacy nor does it need to lead to it. Females who are Doms can be Doms without the want of female supremacy- such as myself and many others.

  4. Here’s a link to a really interesting interpretation of medieval Courtly Love. The author suggests that it may have amounted to play acting, along the lines of the Dom idea offered by Krystal above (Unfortunately that play acting soon became serious and turned into female supremacy). FWIW:
    http://books.google.com.au/books?id=IRC8AAAAIAAJ&pg=PA103&lpg=PA103&dq=%22Play+phenomenon%22+%22Courtly+love%22&source=bl&ots=ytfS3BwOR4&sig=zubYOhXkgzqaMirKAzh_0tuYO54&hl=en&sa=X&ei=fiBgU9i7OYun8AWv8oDYCw&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q=%22Play%20phenomenon%22%20%22Courtly%20love%22&f=false

  5. Mike says:

    Could it be possible that female Doms not being into female supremacy have an easier access to their own femininity than the supremacists?
    Because, in my impression, female supremacists and (female) feminists both have in common that they somehow seem to despise being women in the first place… they never show a relaxed, easy acess to their own womanhood. And women who don’t want to be women don’t attract me at all.

  6. BiDude says:

    Hmmm…I think that SOME women are superior to SOME men. However, you seem to be talking about “female supremacy” in the sense that ALL women are superior to ALL men. (please correct me if I’m wrong) I agree that not ALL women are superior to ALL men. I’m submissive, and I would love to give myself to a woman who treats me right, but she has to be truly superior to me, not someone who just hates me and likes playing the dominant role, like those abusive dominant bitches that you have talked about, before. I think that a lot of submissive men are not smart enough to realize that feminism is a front movement. I think that a lot of people can understand front groups, but they have a harder time with the notion that an entire movement of people could be, essentially, lying about what their movement is really about and/or conned by the leaders of that movement. I had a hard time believing, in the past, that this could be the case for the entire feminist movement, but I eventually figured out (thought it may have taken me longer than it should have) that the feminist movement is a front movement, and that they don’t care about submissive men.

    • Mike says:

      I suppose they don’t care about submissive men because they are useless to them. Submissive men don’t make a good, scary enemy to fight against… It’s a pity a lot of sub men feel attracted to women/feminists/supremacists who ignore them or treat them like shit, because those men equate their submissiveness with being worthless.
      That’s probably where the terrible stereotype of the “worthless slave” originates from. Ever seen how female subs get treated by their male Doms? Although the playing can get rough, there is always the noticeable subtext that the sub is like precious gold to the male Dom. Now on the other hand, in F/m playing it seems to be the (new) normal that the male sub first gets treated like shit, then thrown into the dirt and then abandoned. He’s supposed to enjoy this treatment, because after all he’s the sub, the slave, the worthless pig. And the worst thing is, they identify themselves as such.
      The question is: Where did it all go wrong for male submissives? Did they (or some of them) somehow invited this treatment, because they themselves have no true grasp of their role? Or did female supremacists subverted and perverted female dominant/male submissive relationships, turning submissive men’s feelings and sexuality as a weapon against them, using it as a tool to their own destruction? Is it a bit of both?
      I don’t know. For a lot of years I couldn’t see what’s going on, and at first I admit I was quite happy seeing more openly Dominant women appearing everywhere. But later it got more and more obvious most of them were just nasty, surprisingly shallow and materialistic creatures. As far as I remember this observation made the men’s rights movement resonate with me first, because of the MRM’s fight against nasty feminists.
      What to do? My self-worth is intact, and I can’t ignore how female supremacists have spoilt and subverted the BDSM scene. Nowadays, formerly private and healthy rituals have turned into meaningless displays of shite. Don’t want to be part of that.
      Is a female Dom capable of loving (or at least, RESPECT, in play relationships) too much to ask? I’ve largely given up the search. Weeding through the crap can get exhausting, and also there are other things to do in life.

      • Very well said and I still bring it back to the dominant women who decided to go abusive. A teacher/Dom is responsible for their authority in the relating.

        What a sub can do is be very careful with whom they work with which it sounds like you’re doing so kudos. The more the message is spread making the clear distinction between abuse and BDSM the safer subs will be and the more abusers will be seen for who they are. Thank you for your input and glad to hear you’re staying clear from the abusers.

  7. I agree with many points on this. I myself have been part of the BDSM community, both as a Sub and a Dom. I can easily do either one at a moments notice, but I favor Doming more. I love the aspect of taking care of someone and guiding them. I also love pushing my sub to the limits.

    For any Sub, get to know your Dom. That is very important and I’ve seen many subs attached to a Dom and later regretted it due to superficial reasons to begin with.

    One one time had I ever been abused as a sub, which I am sure I will talk about at some point on your blog (looking at many of your articles). I was fortunate enough to get out when I realized it was abuse.

    I also agree that the best way to dom is to be a sub first. I believe Old Guard was very much like that (not that I completely support Old Guard). Many Doms I met have never sub and are appalled to the idea, as it takes away from them being a Dom. For me, subbing was a great way to understand what one goes through, so as a Dom, I can be in their head to make sure they are safe.

    I see that you use SSC a lot. SSC is good, but I’m more about RACK. The Sane part to me is a subjective term, but how you are using it is very appropriate.

    This is a great post. Thanks.

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