Honoring Masculinity

My latest video for Loving & Celebrating Men Monday’s on my #YouTube show ‘Celebrating The Love of Being’:

Honoring Masculinity

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The Body.

To me what I often experience is this. Those who practice a modality, such as Tantra, often begin to work like a body. However, as a body it is always open to getting sick. And as a body each individual makes up the body’s immune system. Now, when the immune system is in integrity it can recognize between pathogens -what actually creates disease, in this instance abuse and abusers, spiritual bypassing, righteous denial and arrogance. which hides abuse- and its own body. When the immune system is out of integrity it cannot distinguish between a pathogen and it’s own body and begins to attack itself.
 
Those standing up to abuse in the Tantric community are very clearly a healthy and vital part of the Tantric body and yet are often met in ‘Tantric’ spaces like they are not. Being a stand for victims, for integrity is a great stand that is for supporting the health of the Tantric body in action which begins in being. When the body senses pathogens it sends out an army of fighter cells to attack in order to keep the body healthy. Those standing for health, safety, the voice of victims and integrity in the Tantric community are only attacking the pathogens NOT the body. Yet is often confused as the other way around.
 
This is my experience as to what is often transpiring in Tantra and in any part of the human community. We are a body. If I am out of integrity with myself, I contribute to the body not being able to distinguish between pathogen and self. It absolutely all comes back to self as in doing my own work.
 
My integrity is a vital part of a healthy body. This is core.
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Words mine, Anatomy art by Juan Gatti.

Happy Earth Day!: The Human Element

 In the beautiful consciousness of #EarthDay, remembering to love home, to me that starts with self. If I do not respect myself, how can I respect my planet? If I do not see myself as belonging, how can I take accountability for effects of my actions on this soil?
Sometimes environmentalism can get a bit dark in my experience by forgetting the human element. As if people are ‘bad’ or ‘wicked’ or ‘stupid’ for not taking care of the planet. What if they just don’t feel like they belong? What if they just do not have the wisdom or education or know how to know what it means to take care of earth? Or, the self love and self respect to know their actions matter?

To me self love it all comes back to. Those equipped can keep educating all of us on how to best live in harmony with our planet and also, remember, we are the planet too. If we are not in harmony with ourselves, if we cannot love self, no way are we going to be able to understand we matter enough that we impact our planet.

Being kind to the Earth means also being kind to self.

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Dear Men, I Kneel At The Feet Of Your Pain.

Men are finally having the courage to come forward. To the men who have come forward sharing your pain, I hear you. Thank you for bringing your voice. I hear your pain, I hear what happened to you and how you are being treated by female predatory behavior. I am so sorry you were hurt this way. When I read your sharings I find it so painful that this has happened to you. I hear you! Your voices matter that you have been victimized matters, that you are shamed for being victimized that your ‘NO’ is met with violence! My god that is horrific. I hear you that you feel trapped. That if you say ‘NO’ to women you are met with violence and shame. I hear you. This is devastating violence enacted onto you and we must all listen. We must hear this. My god I am sorry you were hurt and I am sorry as a society we continue to be so painful in this discussion and resist listening.
 
I am sorry that there is so much pain being projected onto you, so much anger projected onto you when you come forward in a vulnerable space with your heart bared asking to be heard. To just, be heard. Thank you for being by my side and championing my voice when I’m in pain. Thank you for championing the voices of women as they come forward and holding them with such tenderness and humility. Thank you for your MASSIVE heart space that I see everywhere! Your being is beautiful. Thank you for kneeling at the feet of the pain of women for so long. And though you would never ask me to because it is not your way, I kneel at the feet of your pain. I hear you my brothers and I am so sorry that you have been hurt.
dear men

We Do Not Have To Silence Men To Support Women: Can You Hear Men’s Pain?

I face the unconsciousness that is aimed at men daily, by choice. I choose to do my work and get uncomfortable and look. I do not believe that speaking up about male victims means you don’t support female victims. That bizarre story is just NOT my world.

I also don’t believe that supporting female victims means turning a blind eye to men and our impact as a society in our conversations about men. I don’t believe that supporting women means shaming men, that is just NOT my world either and I have zero interest in it.

Speaking up about how we treat men as a society does NOT mean being against #metoo. What a bizarre concept!! That only ONE can be heard? NOT my world either! I will continue to speak up about male victims and continue to point out the unconsciousness and how we completely silence male victims by projecting that males are criminals simply for being born male. I stand by EXPANDING our conversations to include ALL victims and that means #MenToo

Can you see the innocence of men just as readily as you can see the innocence of women? Can you hear his pain as readily as you can hear the pain of women?

My god where are we as a world if we cannot.

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Men, Masculine, Maleness Is Beautiful, Right Now. NOTHING to fix!

There are so many ‘practitioners’ that when they say they ‘support’ men the drive behind it is actually to ‘fix’ men. We have a bad habit as a society of treating men like broken women. Because we have been so bereft of spending time with male energy of actually appreciating masculine and maleness.
 
As if maleness needs to be ‘fixed’ or ‘supported’ into being like the ideal which has become woman. As a woman I could absolutely just throw my hands up in the air and bask in that sickness if I wanted to. It would support my ego and I would have all the agreement in the world to go along with that rather than face my own shadow. As a matter of fact I did unconsciously do just that for most of my life.
 
What happens when we actually listen to men?
 
We have demolished almost all male only spaces. We have shamed male gatherings. Now somehow women are supposed to tell men how to be men? lol Am I supposed to be told how to be a woman? No one can tell me how to be a woman, I just am. No one can tell a man how to be a man, he just is. This bizarre infantalization is so condescending and so broken as if men must come to women to be told how to behave. Sounds like a twisting of mother/child as if men are children and must be shown by ‘mother’ how to be…what?
 
How is that equal partnership to men?
 
Men gathering with their brothers is what has been expressed to me by men that men are seeking. Not being reprimanded for not being women or taught to ‘be good’ by men either just being received from the heart by their brothers. Not me telling men what to do that is of course coming from a female perspective and not honoring the differences men and women have.
 
We need to stop looking at men as if there is something inherently wrong with men for not being women! There isn’t!
 
Men don’t need a course to be men.
 
God. Men are naturally just fine as they are. This is so even weird that I have to say something like this. Stop treating men as if men are broken for being male.
 
Men, masculine, maleness is beautiful and whole as is. Right now. NOTHING to fix!
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To Hell With ‘Patriarchy’ Theory

To hell with ‘patriarchy’ theory. It was created by a white woman during the times of the Civil Rights Movement. How disconnected is that? This theory is based on her perception that men just want to dominate women. Well, that may have been her personal viewpoint, that does not make it a perspective to follow as truth.
 
The reality is ‘patriarchy’ theory has been and is being used to completely dominate men. We have used it to silence men from speaking up and disagreeing with being told they are innately criminals or their very makeup is ‘toxic’. We have used ‘patriarchy’ theory to silence male victims. We have used this theory to gaslight men when men say the theory is not true we have called men ‘misogynists’ for coming forward and sharing their pain.
 
LISTEN! Patriarchy theory so ingrained in blaming men for all the ills of the world, for their own victimization. This theory enables and normalizes violence towards men. Creates a sick justification of violence towards men because ‘well they invented patriarchy’. No. Some disconnected woman invented ‘patriarchy theory’ based on her panic driven view on society, men and herself. She wasn’t even connected to the female predator and female victims of female predators.
 
I am calling out ‘patriarchy’ theory as violence towards men. Men are told so much all is their fault, maleness is at fault, that men are left completely silenced when they are victimized especially by women. Men think they are the one’s who did something wrong when a woman raped them and they have no foundation in society to let them know, no, they are not at fault for their rape.
 
We must recognize that men too have suffered throughout time. We MUST listen to the voices of male victims. The lives of men matter, the pain and victimization of men is real.
 
Men your voices matter.
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