Day 56 of 100 Days of Advice on How to Treat Men Right in relationship and daily interactions.
Support the brotherhood of men.
How can we as women support the brotherhood of men? This is a question I ask myself often. It’s very important that men’s brotherhood among each other is honored by us women. Here are a few ways to do so:
1. Don’t be mommy in a group of men.
I mentioned this in Day 1 of advice. Women we want to nurture which is great but can be overwhelming. If you have something to say, say it. But if you’re going in with the ‘now, now, boys’ attitude, you just became mommy-check yourself.
2. Give men space to get through their process with each other.
Again, if you are a part of the interaction say what is present for you. BUT, if you notice the conversation is becoming a back and forth between the men, butt out. This is something they need to figure out man to man and you’re not helping. I know, this can be VERY hard when you are watching the man you love in a heated debate. Your inner firecat protector comes out and you want to defend him. But this is not the time. You will only hinder a possible resolution between the two men. Step back or if your hellcat wants to pounce, leave the room. Respect their need to process this with each other.
In Day 39 I share the necessity for women to remember to take time to be still and listen to the voice of men. This is vital here as well. We as women love to talk, we do, nothing wrong with that but how much are we missing when we are around men if we are the ones talking the most? Talk yes, no one is saying go sit in a corner, but make sure you are balanced and listen.
4. Honor men need time with each other.
Men have tried opening men only clubs but that has not been allowed. Now women are opening women only clubs? This is sexist. Not because women want women only clubs but because they feel entitled to this but refuse men this saying men should not be allowed. Nonsense. The return of men only clubs sounds like a wonderful support of the brotherhood of men.
Men spending time with each other is minimized or treated as dangerous in our society. How dare men want to get together for sports, or camping or whatever they want to do together as men, they must be scheming something? That is horrible. This disregards men and dismisses the brotherhood of men. It says that men are incapable and must be carefully watched by …the overlord-women? This is absolute female supremacy to say that only women are capable of getting together and creating a supportive environment and only women can be trusted. That is hateful and completely disrespectful to men.
Luckily, I’ve heard of lodges where men can gather together which is wonderful they can have space with each other and enjoy each others company together as men being.
5. Understand men do not need women to create their value as a person.
Now, when I say this, what do I mean? Do I mean women have no value? Absolutely not, we’re human of course we do. However, when women search for their own inner strength sans partner women are celebrated. When men do it, men are demonized. Why? Society has not shown respect to men as individuals. Men in a state of being, as you have heard me say, are not being received in a stat of being. Men’s value has been placed on what he can provide, not who he is as a person standing before you, being a person. For men to take the time to see their value outside of holding value because of having a woman in their lives, that is important.
Receive and understand when men are not interested in dating, they are on their own personal journey. This is not a ‘screw you’ this has nothing to do with you in any way. Don’t make this about you. Acknowledge that women are not the basis for a man’s worth, he is. Somewhere in our society this was warped to forget men’s inherent worth and only acknowledge men’s worth in relation to women. What it does is it places women’s intrinsic value above men’s intrinsic value. It says women are worth more and therefore in order to be worth, a man MUST have a woman or he has nothing.
No. Incorrect. A man is intrinsically valuable. Gold within. Nothing is needed to acknowledge that but his own self acknowledgement.
Should a man choose to be with a woman it is not in disavowing his own worth, instead in full acknowledgement of his worth and awareness of the love and respect he deserves from his chosen partner.
In all of this, men strengthen each other, remind each other, support each other, hold each other up when needed. The brotherhood of men is powerful and important.
6. Support men connecting with each other
I’ve seen women pit men against each other in sport, to get attention or out of sheer lack of self responsibility. Stop it. You are abusing the brotherhood of men.
If you hear some men say they are struggling with connecting with men, then support them in reconnecting with men. Ask them why they feel this way. Feminism preys on men who have felt hurt by men in their past just like they prey on women who have felt hurt by men. Instead of encouraging them to let down that old story, heal, and move into a better life, feminism says stay here and feed their anti-male agenda.
If there is a man in your life who feels disconnected from other men, help him heal that. At that part of the pain process such men will most likely only listen to women. If this is the case with your friend, you have a big responsibility to lead him back to his brothers. Whoever he felt hurt by does not warrant turning against his brothers. He needs them. Men need each other for support only men can give each other. Support him taking the steps to heal his past and to, even if it’s one step at a time, embrace himself and receive his brothers who will take it from there. They will be able to support him in his healing.
These are a few ways we women can stay conscious and support the brotherhood of men.